Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Doctor, Doctor, My Tongue Is All Furry...?

Yes, been to see Margaret this afternoon. Strangely, I wasn't as petrified as I usually am. Ok, so the arse did start to go a little at 2.20 - my appointment was 2.15.

As usual, I checked in at reception. They got my file out of some box - think they've been doing something with the records - and I saw that my results check sheet was attached to the front of the file. I saw my viral load score and was straining to see the CD4 results. I got that the VL was 90,000-something but from what I could see of the CD4 it looked to be 216. Arsehole was with me, but didn't notice I'd kinda gone a bit, also there were other people in the waiting area so it wasn't something I was going to mention then. I admit I was a bit panicked.

Finally got to see Margaret. She started with the kindly, caring, conscerned friend bit and I thought, "oh shit! this is gonna be bad". I couldn't have been more wrong. She genuinely wanted to know how I was. So I told her!! The depression, insomina and severe mood swings are all common factors. It's a bit like going through greiving, she said, but that I wasn't greiving. She mentioned about anger and a number of other emotions, "and all at the same moment" I added. "Yes," she half-giggled. We both chuckleda bit. I've got a good relationship with Margaret and I know that that is going to help me a lot in the long run.

Now the results: "They're good" she stated. I got to see the Viral Load history sheet and noticed that I'd missed a figure - the one from when I was retested for the CD4 due to the cock-up. I asked if I could jot them down as I wanted to keep a record. "No problem with that, it's a good idea", she said. The VL was 90,300. "It's only a small change", she commented. 68,000 A SMALL CHANGE?!?!? Well, what do I know, they're just numbers to me. I still need to find the meaning in them.

My CD4 is even better. It's gone up. By one cell. Margaret said "Good, but I'm not impressed with that.". "I am!", I exclaimed, "it's gone up!". "Yeah, by one", "I know, but at least it's gone up!!" We both laughed again. The rest of my blood works are as good as before.

I brought up the fact that my tongue was a bit furry and strange. She took a look: Candida (a bit like thrush?) So I'm back on the Fluconazole for that - 14-day course to split seven days and the next seven when I need them. Hopefully it will get rid of it this time.

So I'm a bit alright at the moment. Next visits in 10 and 12 weeks.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Ok, it's twenty-past now. I'm gonna try and sleep.

If I'm not back within the hour effing and blinding, you know I finally managed it.

Depression. Insomnia. Am Well Fucked Off Now

Yes. Yet again it's 2am.

And do I feel like going to bed?
Like fuck I do!

And if I did would I sleep?
Er, not fucking likely.

Does the prospect of lying there for two hours trying to get to sleep sound inviting?
About as inviting as trapping my bollocks in the fridge door.

And if you hadn't gone to pick up arsehole?
I'd be off me box with Ben and James trying to decide which one of them was gonna 'shaft me batty' first!!

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Shy? Moi??

Another think happened in the darkroom. I was cornered by a bloke and his boyf - I'd gathered they were an item by the way they kept whispering and following each other round. Things were starting to get horny when he turned and said 'do you want to go to a room'. I said no. Then he asked with a cheeky grin on his face 'You shy?' I started to giggle. His boyf was rubbing his cock against my thigh whilst tweaking my tits. He was juggling my balls and stroking my willy while I was doing the same to him. And he asks if I'm shy? SHY, for fucks sake. The giggles got the better of me and I had to get away.

Caught up with him in the changing room later. Very attractive and approachable fella - his boyf skittered away to get changed. We chatted for a bit. His comment was that there were too many in there who were frigid. I got a complement, that at least I spoke and said something and was not backward at coming forward.

Anyway, off to get Arsehole.

McDonalds - A Cure For Depression.....?

Yep. I've been naughty. I've been very very bad, but been very very good at it!!!

I visited a local branch of McDonalds in Manchester, you know, the one on Tarriff Street (before you ask, no, it doesn't have golden arches outside) down stairs in the Basement (hint hint!).

Was only there for a couple of hours - got to pick Arsehole up from work shortly - but what a couple of hours. Ok, so I had to fight off the usual crop of dinosaurs (sorry chaps) but when that wasn't happening I found quite a number of cute 25 year olds with ENORMOUS COCKS. Unlike in the Matt Bianco song, you won't find me sneaking out of the back door with a grin, instead you'll find me down in the darkroom chowing down. And then some today! There was one, tall, dark hair, gorgeous muscled body with a huge package. I had to touch it just to make sure it was real. He was wearing rings around the tackle but the cock was so fat and long I could only just get it into my mouth and about half of it in. I chowed on his balls and he was in heaven. He wanted to fuck me, and I would have loved to have been able to, and I told him so too. I told him to eat my pussy (new porn phrase I've picked up, OK I'll put it down again). He started and then began fingering me. Well, that had me going like a rocket. He gave a pretty wicked blow job as well. My knees are still shaking and dying to get back together again. I had to move or I'd have been like 'fuck it, I'm gonna sit on that and it's gonna go in even if they have to call the Fire Brigade to get me off again'. Hope I see him again.

There is more to tell, but in good porno fashion, it all ended with the orgy scene. Here, another young, strong (and very very long) horny mother fucker started fingering my pussy while another cutie was chowing me. He then picked me up by my arse cheeks so he could rub his cock head against my lady lips while the other guy was still chowing. [wet again!!!] I'm gonna have to remember that one with Ben and James - just hope Ben's strong enough!!

Still depressed...? Well I've cured it for a while. Well, until Arsehole gets into the car at least. Hmm. I wonder whether Ben can get any pills for Thursday...

Getting Even Sillier

I got playing with a pitch shift thingy on WinAmp. Oh what fun that is. Try it. Here's how it went: Cher's Strong Enough at 10% (James said 'Oo Camp!!'); Jamiroquai's Cosmic Girl at 20%; I tried Victoria Beckham's Let Your Head Go at -20%, then -50%. The groove was good but it sounded like shit on a shitty stick so I went the other way: 20%, Ok. 50%, Still pretty funny. But the best had to be a double speed. Well, I'm sorry, but the Smurfs on acid don't stand a chance.

James discovered (was force-fed) vitamin e when he went out for his birthday (it was a birthdayeeeeeee) last week. He says he likes it, a lot. So I told him that next time he was with the fairies (off his box, in other words) to think about Vicky Becks letting her head go at double speed. I might have to show him next time I'm round and we're in that frame of mind.

Getting Very Silly

I've been playing a lot of music on the computer lately. WinAmp is a pretty good piece of software and some of the plug ins are very useful. However, I was talking to James (Ben's James, that is) on MSN as he was sorting out his radio show for tonight - there's a secret here that I'm NOT going to divulge. As James was busy the conversation was a bit disjointed. I was also trying to plan what I was going to do today.

I'd heard a remix of Pink's God Is A DJ last Friday in Thompsons (yes, the night after the Ben thingy). Stood at the bar nodding away like a fucking see saw. Well, it is a choon. Well I finally located it on the Internet. WinMX, I love you, WinMX, I do...

The conversation with James was getting its usual sordid and silly tone - unrepeatable and would make no sense unless you were there - when it came on. So, as happens, the lyrics kind a got re-written... ahem,...

If God gave good BJ's
And Cruz had a darkroom
Spunk on the dancefloor
Fuck to the music

If God gave good BJ's
I'm wizzing me tits off
Find a nice corner
Fuck with the music.

You know the only thing I worship on a Sunday is the god of the Hairy Trousersnake (and that is not, I repeat, NOT a reference to Justin Timberlake, 'cos iI'd worship his dick any day of the year)!

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Internet Terminology

James was a little pissed when I spoke to him and was complaining that he couldn't FTP. He told me the error message he was getting:

Me: Sounds like one of their routers is screwed.
James: ??
Me: Router: thing that moves data around the network
Me: Well, points it towards the right hole
James: Ahhhh. Screwed. Mmmmmmmmmm

Next week, we're gonna talk about Packet Filters. He'll like that one!!

Friday, February 13, 2004

I Know What I Did Last Summer....

Just been trawling the 'net, as ya do. and stumbled across the following picture.

Erm, seems to have too strong a resembelance to me and looks very much like something I was upto last summer. Those trees in the background look far too familiar. So now I know I need to be a bit more careful when I'm parading around semi-naked. Especially as someone had a camera.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Farewell, Uncle Stanley.

It was gonna happen sooner or later. My old manager, who I've known for quite a few years I found out was leaving today. So I'm a bit upset.

He was my manager when I got my present job, he then took a promotion about 18 months ago. This time last year his wife persuaded him to take early retirement meaning that he was supposed to finish last September. However, because his position is so important they kept him on on a consultancy basis. Then he was supposed to be leaving just before Christmas, then it was finally confirmed as being before Valentines day.

The bomb-shell was dropped mid-meeting this afternoon. I was pretty cool about it at the time, but walking across the car park to get the car I started to tear up. Called myself a stupid soppy twat which didn't really help, however true it is. Still drove home weeping a little though. We've worked very closely over the years and I am upset that he's going.

But the lucky bastard is spending the next six weeks in New Zealand. Don't you just hate some people?

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Ooooo. Now I'm Excited!!

Just followed a link given to me by a friend to a quiz site. It says I'm going to marry Eminem!! Yipeeeeeeeeee!!! Mysogynist?? Yeah, but he's so cute though!!!

You are going to marry Eminem. Hes rough and tough
and very persuasive. If you dont watch out, he
will push you around and may even be a bit
violent. But he has unconditional love for you.

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Freddie Prinze Jr, Justin Trousersnake (yum yum yum) and Josh Hartnett are also available (ooo the thoughts I've had of an orgy are un-repeatable!!!!!).

Monday, February 09, 2004

Bad Bad Bad Bad Girl!!!!!

Boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy

boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy.

Bad bad bad bad boy
you make me feel so good

You naughty bad
bad bad bad boy
you make me feel so good.
The way you hold me tight
you get me so excited

You do me oh so right
my heart goes beat

beat beat beat beat beat.

Bad bad bad bad boy
you make me feel so good

I want you bad
bad bad bad boy
you make me feel so good

Knew you would.

Boys will be boys - always get so restless -
Bad boy bad boy
boys will be boys - nothin' but trouble -
Bad boy bad boy
boys will be boys - leave me feelin' breathless -
Bad boy bad boy
boys will be boys - nothin' but trouble - .
Bad boy bad boy.

And when he drives me home
I feel safe at night

You'll call me on the phone

it goes ring ring ring
ring-a-ring ring.

Boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy

boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy
Boys will be boys - always get so restless - . . .

Boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy

boys will be boys
bad boy bad boy.

Bad Boy [Primitive Love : Miami Sound Machine & Gloria Estefan]

Thursday 5th

Had to go into the office today to try and work out why one of my FTP servers was deciding to cap an upload at 10Mb when there is 55Gb of available space on the drive unit. Still not got to the bottom of it and can only put the problem down to operator error. Though I know that the partition where the FTP server software is installed only has 18Mb of disk space available so I'm sure that there is a connection there.

Back home for a couple of hours. Working on one of my latest projects. It's a subscription service for our intranet. It's my project and one I quite like working on, notfying users when something has changed on the system. It's doing my tits in 'cos I got the subscriptions, I got the changes, but trying to sort the bit in the middle is messy. Ah well. I'll get there.

Then two hours in a meeting on the other side of Manchester. Important meeting and one I had to attend. It's headed up by one of the bosses whos really down to earth so he's a good laugh. As long as we get the work done he's pretty cool about it.

Sent Mart a text message when I finally got home: "Hi hon, wot u up to? Thinking of going 4 a drink. Then on to Macdonalds later to eat." I didn't get a reply, as I thought, he was working. Had a bath. Trying to think of what to wear to make me look gorgeous: green combats, light blue Kangol T-Shirt and white Mackenzie zip-top, white CK boxers and black rubber cock ring. Fuckin Stunnin!

Sent a message to wind up Shayla! 'I'm going out. Join me if ya fancy a fuck. You know where to find me.' He he he. Evil Bitch!! I knew that Pete would be with Shayla, don't ask how, I just knew. In the middle of trying to put my contact lenses in the phones start going. Yep. Pete ringing : 'Erm. Shayla's just gone "I think he's sent me another text message by mistake!" '. Yeah, and? 'Well, do you want to fuck him?', No, I'm off sex, 'So who you meeting that you're gonna fuck later??' No one, I'm going out by myself and planning on coming home by myself and nobody's getting fucked! And this carries on for about ten minutes with me basically telling him that if I did want to go out and fuck someone that it was basically none of his business and that there were too many things that appeared to be his business at the moment that he should really butt out of before I got proper annoyed. Plus I wanted to get myself dressed, get a taxi and get out.

Eventually I get out into town. It was a hideous night so I was glad to get into the warmth of Churchills. Saw Vinny at the bar - he was on coke - and he told me that his brother Jaime was in with Leah. So I got my drink and went over. Jaime was a bit funny with me. Not nasty, but there was something up. We'd not seen each other in ages so it was good to catch up a bit.

Some time later my sexy ben came in. Think I'd gone to the loo. I saw him go to the table but when I got back he wasn't there. 'Where's piss 'ed gone?' I asked - he had looked pretty wasted. I was told he was at the bar. I stood on the corner of the bar away from him and kept looking over at him. Eventually he noticed me. I stuck my tongue out at him. He made a motion like it was in front of him and he was lapping it up and shook his hair. God he's such a fucking sexy beast. He got served and sat down. I got served and sat down.

'Y'alrite piss 'ed?' I enquired. He started nodding - something he was to spend most of the night doing. 'I'm doing fine' he said. It wasn't unusual to see him pissed out of his skull so I asked him how many he'd had. 'No, it's not beer, I'm on vitamins' he said. Ok, which ones? 'Vitamin e.' he replied. 'Ahh. I'm not adverse to them myself.' I said. 'You want one, then?'. 'Erm. I shouldn't really.' 'Oh, come on. I'm going to the toilet. Follow me.' So I did.

It was quiet when we got there. Ben was still bopping away. He put his head to the sink to get some water. Warm water by accident. He was not impressed. I'm sure some of it was a bit of an act as while he was recoiling he managed to get a pill out and put it between his teeth. I saw it as he came to me for a kiss. And it just happened to fall into my mouth. Helped by his tongue forcing it down my throat and we had a pretty passionate snog. Ooooo naughty!!! He turned to go back to the table. I'll be up in a minute I just want to go to the loo. I fell in the cubicle, still laughing a little at my own actions. Had a pee and then returned.

When I got back, Ben said, they're good, 40 minutes and you'll be up. It was 10 o'clock. Jaime and Leah were thinking of moving somewhere else. I said I'd follow down in a bit. Ben and I were sharing a chair. I get a bit clingy anyway, but Ben is that sexy I can't keep my hands off him at the best of times!! Vinny was trying to pull us down to the Union but Ben and I still had the best part of our drinks so we said we'd finish them and meet him down there. I feel the back of my neck when I'm doing e as I can tell by the temperature change when i'm coming up.

Bang on cue, 10.40pm, up she goes. Arms in the air, singing my head off to the record that's playing (fuck knows what it was) with not a care in the world. Ben looks and laughs at me then throws his arms around me. We finish our drinks and go to make our way to the Union.

The temperature had dropped outside. Hand in hand we walked down the road. We went past Prague. Good music. Ben swung me round and we went in. I don't like doing beer on tablets but tonight I didn't have much choice. Two beers bought and then we sit down on a big leather sofa opposite two people that Ben knows. Sat there like nodding dogs. The music was good. Ben slouches in the corner and I think he's about to pass out so I slide over to him, put my arms round him and ask if he's ok. His eyes open, grins and nods. 'You get all luvdup on e dontcha?' he says. I just nod and grin. Next I know I'm on my back with my legs in the air and Ben between them. Nice game of tonsil tennis. Mmmmmm.

One of his friends from the other side of the table sits up and tries to mock disgust. He's funny. Also pretty cute. Think he wanted a ride as well. I wouldn't have said no, but I had my sexy ben. so I was well happy.

Finally we made it to the Union. To be honest, I can't remember much by this time. I know we spent a few moments at the dance floor end, then we had to sit down at the top end. Jaime was already up there, sitting with some others. Ben went into the corner next to him and I slid up by his side and we hugged. Some conversation took place. I know that Ben wandered off to the loo and I was left with Jaime. One of the others said that she knew what me and ben would be up to in a bit! I replied that I knew and I was gonna enjoy it. Jaime gave me a quick snog and grinned from ear to ear. Ben returns and I think I snog him again.

Next thing I know is a lad arrives with a huge parker jacket over a hideous shirt. He's got rings all over his fingers and loads of tatoos visible through the unbuttoned shirt. Seems like he's a bit of an arsehole (stunningly cute, mind) but Jaime still asks him to take his shirt off so he can see the tatoos. Phew! what a body! Mmmm Mmmm MMmmm. But I got ben and I'm still happy.

We move again. Back to Prague. Ben's friends are still there. Another drink and we sit in the same place. More nodding, more hugging, more snogging. Yeah!!! Ben slips me another half. I get spotted by his cute friend who then demands that Ben give him one. Intentionally, Ben gets the wrong idea and goes up to cavort with him. I can't help but laugh. The cute one starts talking to me something about wanting Ben, I think. He's got some small tatoos in various places on his body, including one near his smooth round arse. That could be a mission for another day! It's time for us to go. As we're leaving the cute one comes up behind me and pretends to fuck me from behind. I push back, of course. 'You enjoy that?' he asks. 'Mmm. I did'. I grin. 'Actually, so did I!!' He he KAACHHHIIIING!!!

So taxi home to Bens. We sit down and then things get amorous. We were both as horny as fuck so there was like zero foreplay. The kit came off and we were just all over each other. I already knew Bens boyf, he's lovely. Yes and I've had them both before!!! He went into the bedroom to tell James that I was back and did he mind if he fucked me in the living room. Like he was really gonna mind.

Let's just say that I could have been fucked by half of the England rugby team that night/morning/whatever-it-was. Oh, it was heaven. It just didn't last long enough. I wanted James as well - he's a good hard fuck - but because he's been asleep and he's not too good at the moment he couldn't get it up. FUCK!!!!!

Anyway, it was nice to touch base (ahem!) with them again. and I know that I'm always welcome for a rematch. And you know that that is gonna happen sooner rather than later.

Oh, I've been a bad bad bad bad girl!!!!!

I Don't Like Mondays

As Sir Bob Geldof once sang, I'm told, 'I don't like Mondays. I don't like Mondays. I don't like Mondays.' Yeah! I think we get the picture now fuck off!!

This is my first diary entry of this year. Oops!! I'm gonna have to back-fill some of the other stuff since Christmas. Sounds kinky, and some of it is. There's also a shed load to write about but I can't do it now cos I got far too much project work on at the minute. Also got a meeting later on today which I could do without.

I'm feeling pretty rough today. Been on a bit of a bender since about Thursday last week. It's been fun. A lot of fun.