Homeboi's Diary

You may never be able to take Thrustin Trousersnake seriously ever again!

Adrian and Liam had just left in a taxi to theirs.

'Oi You!' he cries, fit lad in a blue shirt at the taxi rank. His other two mates had left the rank office and got in the cab.
I acknowledge him.
'So, him you've just bin kissin'. He your boyfriend? You take it up the arse off him?'
I grin. Widely. 'They both me boyfriends. I take it up the arse off both of 'em.'
I know he can't wait too long because of his mates. I'm safe. I've done nothing wrong. Look on his face of utter disbelief.
'You need to get your dick in order!'

Oh, how wrong he is...

Obviously, he can comprehend one man sleeping with another man. Adrian had (possibly) been taunting him and his two mates when we arrived at the taxi rank, Liam wondered how he doesn't get into trouble. But one man sleeping with two other men, and referring to them both as boyfriends was clearly beyond him! Makes you wonder how they can resolve their own lesbian fantasies...

And tonight I meet Liam's li'l bro, Damien. Bless, he's only 19. Taller than Liam, just, but no where near as cute. He's straight too. It's quite sweet to see Liam in 'protective mode'. We'd spoken ages ago about him wanting to have kids of his own, and to an extent he did bring up himself, his younger sister and Damien. Ok, so he's got this boi as his too, but I'm more than just a child in this. One day he will make a good parent, of that I'm so very sure.

I've noticed something strange about myself over the last week. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the anti-b's I've been on but its something that's actually starting to irritate the fuck outta me.

My feet are constantly wet and sweaty.

And it's not because of the boots or trainers I wear. I've got a pair of leather slippers which are all open apart from a band going over the foot just behind the toes. My feet even sweat in those!

As a kid I used to have problems with sweaty feet but as I grew up the problem went away. I'm told they really used to stink - of course I've never smelt it. And I can't even tell you if my feet smell now.

I've just had a bath - meeting Liam after work. I'm sat naked from the waist down apart from my slippers. And it's not funny feeling like your feet are in bowls of slimy warm custard. Yeuck!

Well guess what? Guess who's been given another week's supply of anti-b's? Yup, me!!

Oh yay!

The nose is better a week on. Had a couple of strange reactions to the tablets ranging from serious sneezing bouts, nose bleeds and trapped wind but much less pain.

We didn't do blood samples today. Doctor wants me to have another week on the tablets to make sure I'm clear of this infection, then a week off, then we'll do the samples again. He's pretty confident that its the infection that knocked everything out of order. Of course, we'll know for sure in mid January...

Actually, I think I've done pretty will with taking the tablets and keeping on top of them. I've only got two doses to tag on to the end and the only reason for that was down to sleeping in (very very) late on Sunday.

Something happened over the weekend. Something that in any other relationship probably could have gotten me into a whole heap of trouble. As it was, in the end, there was nothing to worry about - everything worked out just fine...

We were out. The three of us. Liam had disappeared for a while because he spotted someone he wanted to talk to and Adrian was busy gabbing to someone I didn't know. So I goes to get myself a drink. While I'm waiting to be served this guy begins to hit on me. There was someone else hanging around him - who I assumed to be a boyfriend - so at first I tried not to pay attention. But he still persisted to make eye contact with me and so we ended up talking for a while.

He was quite attractive, nice personality, and I do sometimes have this thing for cute skinheads. This was one of those occasions. I eventually got my drink. Took a swig, placed in back down to pocket my change when i feel this lump pressing between my arse cheeks. My arse was much more noticable that night because I was wearing tight jeans, just for a change. The lump felt nice, and he started to grind it into me. Then he pulled me back towards him and found a place to kiss me that always makes me go weak. So the kissing combined with the rubbing and grinding he had me at his mercy. We started talking again and he compliments me on my arse, telling me that he's really going to enjoy fucking it later. Presumptuous, I thought to myself.

'So you moving on somewhere...?' he asked.
'Don't know what we're doing yet.' I responded. It was true. Wherever I was going to go Liam and Adrian had to know about and I wasn't about to go off with someone else and leave them worrying about what had happened to me.

We spoke a little more. We got the status disclosure things out of the way from the start, found out that we'd both got kids - although his were biological, and also worked out that he was top which meant that he intended to '...lay you down and nail you into the floor all night!'

I giggled at this last one. And kinda hoped that Adrian didn't hear what was going on. He's been in ear shot when people have tried to pick me up before, he usually just smiles. Silly thing is, this guy did actually turn me on. Not in the same way as my boys, but still it was a turn on. I tell him that he is attractive, and that he will fuck me, just maybe not tonight.

'O come on,' he starts, grabbing my wrist, 'lets go somewhere else. Have a dance, then take you home and fuck the arse off you. You'll be walking like John Wayne tomorrow afternoon.'
I conceded. 'Ok, but I need to let people know where I am.'

So I end up trolling round to find Liam. His eyes light up when he sees me and he flings his arms open wide. I explain the situation, he grins, quick kiss then he tells me he'll be along in a bit. Then I go and find Adrian and tell him that I'm being abducted. He's ok with this, smile on his face. Me and this guy move along...

We get into the club, go to the bar although I don't want a drink just yet. He's found that he can pick me up (physically) with a hand in my crotch and a hand on my arse and its while he's doing this that he tells me he's gonna sort out a pill for me. Not so long afterwards we find a quiet dark area and he pops what feels like half a pill in my mouth. I swallow. He swallows his and we kiss deeply.

I get led off to dance with him. At this point I realise that he's had more pills than I have - not that that's any problem - but it kind of put my guard up a little. So I start dancing - feeling a bit conspicuous because the place is fairly quiet in the run up to Christmas. I think he spots my unease and we find somewhere to sit.

We're in another dark corner, him sat in a chair with me sat across him. I can feel his cock bulging underneath me. And I like the feeling. My half pill starts to kick in. We start to snog, and he's touching me up all over. He didn't feel the PA (I'm pretty sure) but he did feel the cock ring I was wearing that night and comments with approval. Somehow we get onto my past in slavery and I also point out to him that the two guys I told where I was going were my boyfriends.

'O I know them pair of wankers!' he starts. 'What you doing with them? Mr and Mr Boring. Why you hanging round their table waiting for scraps to fall off when you can have all of me?'

Up to that point he'd been making all the right moves, saying all the right words and pushing every single button in the right way. Then he continued with more comments. Now I'd already decided to myself that my place that night was at home in the bed of my boyfriends. Call me old fashioned but I can always take a number and arrange a shag for another night. But after his comments about the guys I love with all my heart, well, he just shot himself in the foot good and propper!

I needed to go to the loo. On my way I spied Liam who himself was getting chatted up. 'I need help out of this one honey!' I said grabbing his arm as I passed. To be truthful I'm not sure whether he heard me properly, but I said what I needed to. I went to the loo. I thought about what I'd just done and considered carefully. When I returned to the guy his whole attitude had changed. I think it had sunk into him that I wouldn't be going back with him, even though he did accuse me of saying that I would. I corrected him.

'Look, it's not you. It's the situation, and I'm not used to this.' I said
'O, I know it's not me.' he barked. I felt like calling him a smug bastard but decided better of it.
'Ok, shall I just fuck off then?' I questioned. With no response I simply turned and left.

I knew Liam would still be about, it was just a matter of locating him. Eventually we collided and compared notes. Liam was on his own. 'Well, I fucked that one off.' I began, and then proceeded to tell Liam about him bad mouthing him and Adrian. 'And I'm sorry, you know I love you guys...'
'I've had him!' Liam announced. It didn't come as a suprise actually. 'Want a pill?'

His expression was enough to brush away my upset about the things the guy had said. I'd switched off because I didn't want to entertain the comments.
'That guy I was with, fucked him off too. He was passive. Now if he'd been active...'

We went off to find where Adrian had got to. I knew I could relax and be happy, and forget about that guy once we were all together.

So what, my boys might not be all things to all people. I've never asked them to be like that. I just want them to be themselves. They know I love them so much and I know they love me the same in return. But no one, and I do mean no one, ever talks about them like that to me.

What can say about today? Can't say I've particularly enjoyed it. My nose is still sore but more bearably. And I'm up to date with the anti-b's. But then it has only been two days. Gotta say I'm not enjoying them. They do make me drowsy. I'd say dizzy and forgetful, but I'm normally like that at the moment! And today I got pains in my stomach. Nothing too bad, but not the kind of thing you want to feel whilst driving.

So tonight I'm at home. Feels so wierd being alone at home on a Friday night. I really can't remember the last time. It's more wierd not having Liam and Adrian around me.

To be honest I'd really rather be on my own. Yea, had a bit of a low one today. I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. Tried to do some christmas shopping but didn't have the inclination for it. Bought a sandwich from Boots in the Trafford Centre and came home! And got stuck in traffic to boot. Actually, no, telling a lie there. I did buy myself a shirt cos it was a tenner. Still aint tried it on. It's age 13-14 so it should just fit.

But here's the real bimbo bit:- I've only just worked out how soon it will be christmas....

Spotted the following this morning in someone's signature. I thought it was sweet and wanted to share...

Men
are like apples
on trees. The best ones
are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt
Instead, they get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong with them when in
reality they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Just woken up after a bit of a doze. Don't know what came over me. Was sat downstairs watching TV when suddenly my phone goes off, I realise I'm lying down and that I've lost an hours and a half.

But the anti-b's will make me feel tired. And that was what I was thinking about before I dozed off. Not that they would make me tired but that I was due for another dose. The Doctor grimaced at me when he told me the dosing schedule for the Erythromycin. He confessed once that he too is bad at taking medication, '...and even the multi-vitamins I promise to take at New Year!' I've already been on a 21-day 4-horse-drops-a-day anti-b course earlier on this year so I know if I put my mind to it I can do it. My mind just isn't wired up for regular routine stuff at that small a frequency.

Bizarre thing was that I got woken up by a text message offering me coke!! I thought about it. But it was a half-hearted thought if you can have one of those. I need to get myself stronger before I should really consider anything recreational!

Add to the fact that I've just sneezed. And it fucking hurt! So I've just blown my nose - because something shifted with the sneeze. That nearly killed me. The eyes did more than water. Then I looked in the handkerchief (as you do). Yuck, blood and snot. Never a thrilling combination, especially when the amount of blood is more than insignificant.

I just hope this shit works!

Fun and games at Clinic. Didn't get seen by a doctor, as I was hoping for. 'You here for bloods?' the new girl asks me.
'Erm, no. Did those two weeks back. Here for results and to see a doctor.'
I then explained my reasons for needing to see a doctor.

After rummaging through my file she found my CD4 count. To me, its not good: 256. No trace of my viral load. 'I'll go and ring the lab 'cos I can't find it!' She disappears. Returns a few moments later and gives me the figure 6105. I look at her, puzzled.
'You sure that's right? Sounds very low.' I'm still puzzled.
I clarify that I'm not on meds and she goes off to check again, and also to find a doctor to see me. Turns out that she hasn't mis-heard, the 6105 is the real result.

While she was away the mind started churning. Was beginning to think that at least one figure was missing from the VL score. 'Oh god, this is the time.' I began thinking to myself. I get sent back to the waiting area.

And I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more!

Eventually, my doctor comes to get me. I explain that I've still got the rash, feels like its burning and that my nose is bad. He inspects the rash and inside my mouth with a light. Still not sure what it is, but I've got some steroid cream to try on it. After pushing around my nose - the usual 'does this hurt routine' - he thinks that that is sinusitis. So that's pain killers and antibiotics.

I told him that I'd tried decongestant sprays and steaming for my nose. He shook his head, saying that they wont work. Erythromycin in tablet form is also less messy than the saline spray that Mum suggested!

He told me not to be too worried about the scores. The CD4 is likely to be down with you being unwell when the samples were taken. I'd forgotten about that. So I'm back in a week and we'll probably run another set of samples, if I'm better then. And I hope I am.

As for the rest of 'the full works', well, nothing was said so I can only assume that there was nothing to worry about.

Due at clinic in a hour and a half. Not looking forward to it as usual! Heh heh. To be truthful I've felt a bit ropey over the past few days. Not too sure why. Maybe I havent properly recovered from the 5am start last Thursday. Maybe its the changeable weather. Maybe, I don't know.

For sure, my nose is really sore at the moment. All of it. I wake in the morning and can barely breath. Kinda clears itself a little after I've been upright for a few minutes but its far too painful even to blow! Rhinitis on overload? Could be. So that's one for the Doc this morning.

Was in such a bad and foul mood yesterday as well. If it wasn't the pain from my nose it was my face - the rash is back. I'm making a point of not looking at it in a mirror because it'll only upset me. Feels like a combination of it burning and the skin falling off. Hard to describe, actually. More than just irritating. So much more. Brought me to tears at least three times yesterday morning with the pain of it. So that's another for the Doc this morning.

And yesterday afternoon I was working with my manager. It was a very very wet day here yesterday! The rain brought out all the dickheads on the road! Definately didn't enjoy the drive. Probably fortunate that I was alone in the car because I know my language was, erm, colourful to say the least. Now I don't suffer with road rage, but was confronted with so many people who need to '...get back to fucking driving school', or who I concidered had got their license 'collecting tokens from the back of a pissing cereal box'. It really didn't take much to annoy me. And to the poor unfortunates that I drowned along the way, I'm really really sorry.

When I arrived, his first comment: 'Oh, it's a bit wet out there.'
Biting my tongue (seriously, I had to!) 'Bit wet, its fucking pissing it down.' I snarled. Oops. It's a good job he knows me so very well.
'I'm going to apologise now, I'm in a really foul mood and in a lot of pain...' I then proceeded to explain.

We had a huge argument (heated, professional, adult discussion) over what was happening with one of my projects. 'Ok, I'll trash everything I've done then.' I said. He knew I was serious.
'You don't need to do that.'
'But if it's not going to work, it's not going to work...'
'I just don't want them having to jump through unneccesary hoops.'
'But they already have to with their own work processes. Seriously, they wont mind!'
At one point I half got the notion to pick my laptop up and throw it at him and storm off!

I got my own way in the end. Not sure if he kinda realised that there was no way I was gonna back down, or whether he realised that I was right. Either way, in hindsight, I think I understand now what it's like for people who have to deal with women at 'that time of the month'!

Oh, and I got a phone call from Kyle late last night. He was pissed, and had had an argument with his fella - who'd stormed off to bed. He was going on with himself, it was all me me me! I flipped out at him. Big time. I just couldn't be doing with him. Needless to say, the conversation didn't last too long after my explosion.

Right, time to get moving and get this day started...

I suppose its time for confession. Life with my boyz is amazing. Completely unpredictable. Totally consuming. Like a roller coaster because you never know which turn is next. Words seriously can't express how happy they make me.

Take this weekend. Bear in mind I was working away Thursday and Friday. Woke up on Friday at 5am to start work in Liverpool at 9am. Didn't touch home until 5pm on Friday. With the driving and the work I was absolutely shattered. But I still needed to see my boys. Liam laughed his arse off last weekend when I told him I always reffered to them as 'my boys'. 'Adrian? A boy?' he laughed, astonished. 'You know what I mean.' I laughed back.

But anyway. Last weekend we'd done the sex thing after being out, and being together, and put Adrian to bed. Liam and I were lay cuddled on the couch with a quilt over us, talking. Well, I was trying to explain something. Liam interrupted. 'I really do wanna fuck you! Sorry to interrupt!' Kinda had me lost for words for a moment, then I continued. For the record, because we're both more bottom with me and Liam it is more oral than anything else sexually. Not that either of us mind that at all.

So we're lying in bed all three of us. 'And Paul appologised to me tonight, for getting me all wrong. 'Cos he only sees me in the cap and the trakies he'd got a certain idea of me. Seems him and his fella got talking about me and they've realised there's a lot more to me. He asked me do I do drugs.' Liam looked at me as if to say 'stupid fucking question.', huge grin on his face. Then Paul offered me some speed. I explained about me working and that I was really pretty knackered. 'Oh, so that's a yes then?!? Come with me honey!' and I ended up doing a line of speed with him!

Adrian really was dog tired. He'd fucked me once and I knew he was ready for sleeping. Liam commented 'so you're not quite ready for sleeping yet...?' We got out of bed, leaving Ade where he was, watched a bit of TV, drank a bit, chatted, smoked, had the kind of heart to heart where we leave nothing hidden... The usual, really, when we get together. Speed does make me horny, I can suck cock forever and a day on speed. I started to flag a bit so we went back to bed.

We're all just getting comfy in each others arms when Liam whispers to me 'D'you fancy sucking Adrian off?' You know me, I don't need a second invitation! One thing leads to another and the sucking soon ends with Adrian pushing me over on to my back, legs wrapped tight around his back and him planted deep inside me. Gasping for air, and completely in heaven, I tell Liam that I want him to cum in my face. Adrian goes over the edge on this. He pulls out and Liam ends up sucking the cock that's just been inside me as I go down on him. The combined attention brings him to orgasm in my mouth and all over my face. Happy, and well fed at both ends, we curl up for sleep again.

But before we settle properly I make a comment about how nice and wet and sloppy my hole feels. We curl up. I feel this rock hard cock lying on my inner thigh. It's Liam's. He pushes it into me. I'm gasping again as he fucks himself hard into me, my arms around the very knackered Adrian! He has to pull out. Think I caught his foreskin earlier so there's a little discomfort there. I'm still seeing stars!!

We drift to sleep all three intertwined. Me thinking, no knowing, I'm the luckiest boy alive because I've got two gorgeous men either side of me. Two guys I think the world of, and who I know feel the same way too.

Can I ask for more? No. Don't need to.

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms...

So I gets this phone call off Liam about 5pm. Bear in mind we'd already discussed arrangements for later. The conversation starts itself off, then Liam goes 'Now let me see. I've passed on my message...'
'Yes,' I add in.
'...I've told you how much I love you and can't wait to see you later...'
'No.' I chuckle, 'you forgot about that one!'
'Well, I've done that one now! Hehe.'
I laugh, 'yes honey, and I've missed you so much too.'
'And we've sorted out later?'
'Yes, I'm just about to get dressed and head over.'
We end the call still giggling.

Not so long after I get a text asking me can I bring something or other. I reply yes. Then another text asking for something else. 'sure thing babe.' I reply. 'Can I suck your cock?' To which my only answer was 'Anytime!'

Jeremy said it best in a comment to me recently:

We grow up, we make choices and we learn, so here's to another year and more life, more love and a lot of HOPE.

And tonight I'm going to be where I couldn't be any happier, with my boys.