Thursday, January 20, 2005
**NUMB**
Not having a good week this week. Got a lot I want to post about but just can't stay focussed long enough. I've started two pretty big posts and got bored with them, or lost my direction. Not sure which.
We apologise for this break in transmission. Normal service will be resumed shortly.
I hope.
We apologise for this break in transmission. Normal service will be resumed shortly.
I hope.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Peanuts. Peanuts. And More Fucking Peanuts!
When I was a kid living at home with my parents I used to love Friday nights. It was the end of the week and the start of the weekend. No having to get up early for a day or two. Well, maybe not that early. Mum would cook a nice tea, or if she couldn't be arsed it was out to the chip shop for fish and chips. The others would have fish and chips, mine would be sausage, chips and peas. Guess I started my dislike of fish at an early age. I just had to be different.
But it wasn't just that that I loved about Friday nights. Neither was it the better than average shite that used to entertain us on the TV, or the video we might hire. Nor was it that I could get pissed up on my mum's cider as long as I kept it quiet. It was more that we'd devour a tub of salted peanuts. It's just one of those memories that I've not forgotten: dim lighting, crappy video and a huge tub of nuts.
Cut to the present.
I used to have great difficulty going shopping when Pete and I first split up. I'd been so used to shopping for two with someone else that shopping for only one and on my own was alien. Don't know if it's significant but it also used to take me twice as long. Sure that one's psychological. Now I know that the ASDA near me is huge but I'm not going to use that as an excuse. It was nothing for me to spend between two and three hours trawling round ASDA and I'd never get everything I wanted.
Somebody suggested making a shopping list. Yeah, a great idea. Even better when you take the damn thing with you! So I'd be meandering around on auto-pilot in my own little world...
oo that looks nice...
mm I'll try some of that...
PHHHWWWOOOOAAARRR!!! can I get a slice of him at the bacon counter...?
do we like that...? Eh? I mean, do I like that.
Basically shopping on instinct. Forget memory. That appeared to get locked in the car park with the car.
Putting the shopping away again you could guarantee that I would have forgotten an essential thing, or the thing I actually went specifically to get. I spent months telling everyone that next time I went shopping I was going to get some peanuts. Why? Because I'd not had any in ages and I really fancied some. You know how they say to listen to your body and it will tell you want it needs? Well that was how it was with the nuts. Eventually I got the nuts and shocked everyone. Shocked them that I remembered and without the aid of a list. I did, however, forget something absolutely vital on that occasion.
So today, I'm feeling pretty low. After effects of the insomnia? Could be. Being pissed off with this abcess is also a potential factor. We all know about comfort eating where you don't eat because you have to but because you want something specific. Something to make you feel better. Usually your body will tell you what it wants. For most people it's chocolate. I've emptied the house of all its chocolate already. This evening my comfort food is salted peanuts. I've just polished off 300g of the damn things before reaching the end of the previous paragraph.
And I still want more!
But why peanuts? Has my body forgotten that sore mouth/gums and solid bitty things like nuts do not good bed-fellows make? Aww. Fuck it! I'm gonna open that other damned packet. I'm making an appointment for the dentist tomorrow. Honest.
But it wasn't just that that I loved about Friday nights. Neither was it the better than average shite that used to entertain us on the TV, or the video we might hire. Nor was it that I could get pissed up on my mum's cider as long as I kept it quiet. It was more that we'd devour a tub of salted peanuts. It's just one of those memories that I've not forgotten: dim lighting, crappy video and a huge tub of nuts.
Cut to the present.
I used to have great difficulty going shopping when Pete and I first split up. I'd been so used to shopping for two with someone else that shopping for only one and on my own was alien. Don't know if it's significant but it also used to take me twice as long. Sure that one's psychological. Now I know that the ASDA near me is huge but I'm not going to use that as an excuse. It was nothing for me to spend between two and three hours trawling round ASDA and I'd never get everything I wanted.
Somebody suggested making a shopping list. Yeah, a great idea. Even better when you take the damn thing with you! So I'd be meandering around on auto-pilot in my own little world...
oo that looks nice...
mm I'll try some of that...
PHHHWWWOOOOAAARRR!!! can I get a slice of him at the bacon counter...?
do we like that...? Eh? I mean, do I like that.
Basically shopping on instinct. Forget memory. That appeared to get locked in the car park with the car.
Putting the shopping away again you could guarantee that I would have forgotten an essential thing, or the thing I actually went specifically to get. I spent months telling everyone that next time I went shopping I was going to get some peanuts. Why? Because I'd not had any in ages and I really fancied some. You know how they say to listen to your body and it will tell you want it needs? Well that was how it was with the nuts. Eventually I got the nuts and shocked everyone. Shocked them that I remembered and without the aid of a list. I did, however, forget something absolutely vital on that occasion.
So today, I'm feeling pretty low. After effects of the insomnia? Could be. Being pissed off with this abcess is also a potential factor. We all know about comfort eating where you don't eat because you have to but because you want something specific. Something to make you feel better. Usually your body will tell you what it wants. For most people it's chocolate. I've emptied the house of all its chocolate already. This evening my comfort food is salted peanuts. I've just polished off 300g of the damn things before reaching the end of the previous paragraph.
And I still want more!
But why peanuts? Has my body forgotten that sore mouth/gums and solid bitty things like nuts do not good bed-fellows make? Aww. Fuck it! I'm gonna open that other damned packet. I'm making an appointment for the dentist tomorrow. Honest.
Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Tee he hee! Guess who's back for a visit? Yes, my old mate Insomnia! This is almost as good as December 2003. I'm hoping this is just a passing thing, a one-off. But knowing me, you can never tell. To be truthful, though, I haven't tried going to sleep, but my brain is on a roll and I know that it's pointless to even try - I'll only end up frustrated.
It's 2am, there's no alcohol in the house (nothing unusual there), I have one cigarette left and no inclination to go to the garage to get any more. Is that inclination or motivation? That's an argument for another day! My Little Princess, the cat, has just come to me and chirrupped to let me know that I really should be in bed. Actually, it was more like 'I'm tired, come on.' I've told her I'll be there in a while. She's gone back to bed. I do speak to my cat, I understand her and she does understand me. And just like the parent of any six year-old I get the 'la-la-la, I'm not listening to you...' thing when I'm telling her off only she's worked out that putting her paws over her ears as well would only piss me off!
Could be I've screwed my body-clock over. Again. I've yet to write about Thursday/Friday/Saturday but it could well be responsible.
Could even be this bloody abcess thing. I need to find a dentist this week. Had a talk with Pete about it on Saturday night. He had a feel under my chin after saying that it was probably only a small one. Then changed his diagnosis to 'fuck, it's a big one!' I'm so glad he changed his mind about going into nursing! I've never had an abcess before, anywhere, but I got a feeling that an operation might be in order. That's fine. As long as they knock me out cold before hand. There ain't no one cutting into me while I'm aware of what they're doing. Not unless they've got a deathwish.
Speaking of which. I know this has been around for a while but there is a calculator that determines the date of your death. I know it's a bit morbid but it's only for light-hearted humour. I mean, it's not as if I would sue them if they got it wrong.
This was first pointed out to me at work. We have workstation monitoring software on our network and one of our users was viewing the site - the use was selected at random and was not being progressively tracked. My manager was in the office at the time and I decided to bring the URL up. He knew about my status but couldn't say anything as there were other people in the office. But his expression was that it wasn't such a good idea for me to play around with calculators like that.
It's calculated against your date of birth, BMI (Body/Mass Index), Life outlook, and whether you smoke. Now I already know that I need to do something about my BMI. I've already been told that my body dimensions are going to cause complications later in life and especially with regard to any medications (for anything). I have it on pretty good authority that the reason that the depression meds didn't work for me was down to my build.
So I entered my stats, setting my life outlook (they call it 'Mode') to 'Normal' and indicating that I smoke. Their calculation set my expiry at Monday, February 6, 2045 . Now, if I don't declare that I smoke I expire on Tuesday, August 6, 2052. That's a whole seven-years and six-months! Whoo-hoo! The possibly worrying part of all of this is that the pop-up with the results counts down your remaining seconds. So if your life outlook is 'Pessimistic' I'd advise you not to look up this site! Now curiously, if I increase my BMI to inside the 25-30 range I actually lose a year. Shit.
Out of interest the site asks you how you think you will die giving you the options Heart Attack, Cancer, HIV, Accident, Stroke, or Something else. Interestingly 6.6% of respondents had indicated HIV to be their cause of death. The site goes on to list ways in which you may be able to prolong your life and also how to deal with some major 'health concerns'. This is their link to infomation which may be useful for HIV: http://www.lef.org/protocols/prtcl-059.shtml.
It's 2am, there's no alcohol in the house (nothing unusual there), I have one cigarette left and no inclination to go to the garage to get any more. Is that inclination or motivation? That's an argument for another day! My Little Princess, the cat, has just come to me and chirrupped to let me know that I really should be in bed. Actually, it was more like 'I'm tired, come on.' I've told her I'll be there in a while. She's gone back to bed. I do speak to my cat, I understand her and she does understand me. And just like the parent of any six year-old I get the 'la-la-la, I'm not listening to you...' thing when I'm telling her off only she's worked out that putting her paws over her ears as well would only piss me off!
Could be I've screwed my body-clock over. Again. I've yet to write about Thursday/Friday/Saturday but it could well be responsible.
Could even be this bloody abcess thing. I need to find a dentist this week. Had a talk with Pete about it on Saturday night. He had a feel under my chin after saying that it was probably only a small one. Then changed his diagnosis to 'fuck, it's a big one!' I'm so glad he changed his mind about going into nursing! I've never had an abcess before, anywhere, but I got a feeling that an operation might be in order. That's fine. As long as they knock me out cold before hand. There ain't no one cutting into me while I'm aware of what they're doing. Not unless they've got a deathwish.
Speaking of which. I know this has been around for a while but there is a calculator that determines the date of your death. I know it's a bit morbid but it's only for light-hearted humour. I mean, it's not as if I would sue them if they got it wrong.
This was first pointed out to me at work. We have workstation monitoring software on our network and one of our users was viewing the site - the use was selected at random and was not being progressively tracked. My manager was in the office at the time and I decided to bring the URL up. He knew about my status but couldn't say anything as there were other people in the office. But his expression was that it wasn't such a good idea for me to play around with calculators like that.
It's calculated against your date of birth, BMI (Body/Mass Index), Life outlook, and whether you smoke. Now I already know that I need to do something about my BMI. I've already been told that my body dimensions are going to cause complications later in life and especially with regard to any medications (for anything). I have it on pretty good authority that the reason that the depression meds didn't work for me was down to my build.
So I entered my stats, setting my life outlook (they call it 'Mode') to 'Normal' and indicating that I smoke. Their calculation set my expiry at Monday, February 6, 2045 . Now, if I don't declare that I smoke I expire on Tuesday, August 6, 2052. That's a whole seven-years and six-months! Whoo-hoo! The possibly worrying part of all of this is that the pop-up with the results counts down your remaining seconds. So if your life outlook is 'Pessimistic' I'd advise you not to look up this site! Now curiously, if I increase my BMI to inside the 25-30 range I actually lose a year. Shit.
Out of interest the site asks you how you think you will die giving you the options Heart Attack, Cancer, HIV, Accident, Stroke, or Something else. Interestingly 6.6% of respondents had indicated HIV to be their cause of death. The site goes on to list ways in which you may be able to prolong your life and also how to deal with some major 'health concerns'. This is their link to infomation which may be useful for HIV: http://www.lef.org/protocols/prtcl-059.shtml.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
It's Official: I'm Single
I've been waiting for a while to post this one. Just wanted to get it all straightish in my head before I began. Observant people may have noticed that I've not mentioned Micheal in a while. True I went over there for Christmas. Even though I didn't write about it I didn't have that good a time. He was pretty distant with me all the time I was there. I got a kiss from him when he met me at the station, I hugged him in the kitchen on Christmas day (he seemed eager to get away), and I got a kiss and a pat on the bottom just before I got back on the train to Manchester. Affectionwise that was it!
He'd been invited to Marts birthday, but was due at the hospital the following day so didn't come. He was supposed to be coming over for New Year. I send him a text message on NYE morning to ask what time to expect him so I could make arrangements and all that. I get a delivery report and message back at 5.30pm saying he's skint and feels like shit. I communicate my unhappiness but state that if he's not well he's not well and there's not much I can do about it. I send him a message wishing him happy new year. Not got one back. Every time I tried ringing him his phone was off. The one time it was on he didn't answer the call and five minutes later his phone was off. I've had no communication from him and I haven't bothered since the 2nd when I sent this:
Am I bothered? Nah, can't say I am. I'd spent so long not being 'boyfriend-friendly'. It was him that wanted to be my boyfriend, and I guess I just stumbled into it. For the moment I'm happy being single. That way I've got no ties. No one to answer to, not that I would anyway. The chance to get myself, my life, my home and my head all sorted out.
Anyway, for me, a full-time boyfriend would complicate my sex life! And if situations change there's always my standard disclaimer to apply:
2005 for me is the 'Year of the Pierced Slut'. After all, I've started it as I mean to carry on!
He'd been invited to Marts birthday, but was due at the hospital the following day so didn't come. He was supposed to be coming over for New Year. I send him a text message on NYE morning to ask what time to expect him so I could make arrangements and all that. I get a delivery report and message back at 5.30pm saying he's skint and feels like shit. I communicate my unhappiness but state that if he's not well he's not well and there's not much I can do about it. I send him a message wishing him happy new year. Not got one back. Every time I tried ringing him his phone was off. The one time it was on he didn't answer the call and five minutes later his phone was off. I've had no communication from him and I haven't bothered since the 2nd when I sent this:
Only wanted to talk to you. If you'll speak with me you wont have to avoid me.So I guess it's over! I don't like calling people, but at the time he redefined my definition of the word 'cunt'. At least I've been honest with him all along. I knew in the back of my head it was over before D-Day. All I ever wanted to know was what was going on. I asked him at the time whether we were in a relationship or whether it was just a joke. To me it seemed like a joke and I guess I was right. Guess I'll never know what happened.
Not angry, just thought you were better than the cunt you're trying to play.
Am I bothered? Nah, can't say I am. I'd spent so long not being 'boyfriend-friendly'. It was him that wanted to be my boyfriend, and I guess I just stumbled into it. For the moment I'm happy being single. That way I've got no ties. No one to answer to, not that I would anyway. The chance to get myself, my life, my home and my head all sorted out.
Anyway, for me, a full-time boyfriend would complicate my sex life! And if situations change there's always my standard disclaimer to apply:
previous applicants need not apply
2005 for me is the 'Year of the Pierced Slut'. After all, I've started it as I mean to carry on!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
You Are What You Eat
Just got a text message off Mum.
Does big fat cock count for that?
Hope you're watching Channel 4. You are what you eat!
Does big fat cock count for that?
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Time To Find A Dentist
Oh dear. I think I got an absess under one of my teeth. It appears to be pushing it up a little and makes it a little painful when I bite into things on the right-hand side of my mouth.
And I can't stand dentists.
When I was younger I had a really nice dentist but I reached a certain age and he wasn't allowed to work on me any more. The good thing about him was that we'd got into a routine. Everytime he had to inject anesthetic he knew to keep one hand on the needle and the other on the top of my head. I used to slide up the chair away from the needle. I'm sure he thought it was a game but I really was petrified of that huge contraption going anywhere near my mouth. It was big and silver, with an orange ring connecting the needle - that very long thin sharp thing - to a clear round flask of yellowy liquid. Christ I'm amazed I can still remember that much detail. I must have been that scared by the thing.
And don't get me started on the drills...
And I can't stand dentists.
When I was younger I had a really nice dentist but I reached a certain age and he wasn't allowed to work on me any more. The good thing about him was that we'd got into a routine. Everytime he had to inject anesthetic he knew to keep one hand on the needle and the other on the top of my head. I used to slide up the chair away from the needle. I'm sure he thought it was a game but I really was petrified of that huge contraption going anywhere near my mouth. It was big and silver, with an orange ring connecting the needle - that very long thin sharp thing - to a clear round flask of yellowy liquid. Christ I'm amazed I can still remember that much detail. I must have been that scared by the thing.
And don't get me started on the drills...
Monday, January 10, 2005
And I'm Not One To Gossip But...
... Mart told me he bumped into Ant earlier on today. Ant tells Mart that he'd seen Chris in one of the local cottages. Allegedly Chris had tried working Ant. So maybe that explains why Chris went all quiet at New Year.
Had a longish talk with Mart about it. We're not about 'outing' him. Frankly I don't go for that shit. He'll come out when he's good and ready. I can be a tease, they all know that. But I've made a promise to Mart that I may tease him (and flirt with him) but there's only so far I'll go. We all know he's gay anyway but its for him to choose his own label in his own time.
Had a longish talk with Mart about it. We're not about 'outing' him. Frankly I don't go for that shit. He'll come out when he's good and ready. I can be a tease, they all know that. But I've made a promise to Mart that I may tease him (and flirt with him) but there's only so far I'll go. We all know he's gay anyway but its for him to choose his own label in his own time.
One Up, One Down
Well what a way to end the start of the week!
Now obviously if I'd have been with Ant tonight I wouldn't be writing this. The sod didn't ring me this afternoon. I'd been horny all day thinking about him. Then this afternoon I was clock-watching, praying for my mobile to go off. Ant is a nice guy but all I want from him is sex. I know there's a lot more to him than that, and over time I know I'll get to know it. But for now, his biggest interest to me is his dick. I'm being honest. Plus I don't want him to get into thinking that I'll be good as a boyfriend to him. Even though that has an appeal.
So I arrived home horny and frustrated. What do I do? I log into Gaydar with the sole intent of getting cock. Did I score? You bet! Nice guy, 26, good body, horny. Not English and it became apparent to me that there was either a culture difference or I am so not used to having men come round to my house just for sex without doing the alcohol/drugs route first. Nevertheless, he's gone away happy. I got one load out of him (hand and mouth) but couldn't quite squeeze that second one out with my arse. That was a pity. I licked his first off his stomach, he tasted nice, and I think he was a bit startled when I started to lap it all up.
My orders were to answer the door naked and with a hard-on. Of course, I obliged. And instead of shaking my hand as I let him in, he shook my cock. How very continental! Another of my orders was to have porn going when he arrived. Now my video is a little on the fucked side - it wants repairing with a new one - so fortunately the only DVD porn I have happened to fit the bill. Thank you SkaterBoy! And it just so happens that there's one actor in it that does it for me everytime - mentioning no names *blush*. He was quite surprised to find out that the movie was British. My other choice, had my video been working was Triga's Football Orgy, but I know now that he wouldn't have got that.
And you know that Mart and I have no secrets. Well I sent him a text message about my achievement. Before I'd even got the delivery report back my phone was going. I knew it was Mart wanting all the juice. He wasn't shocked, more jealous. But that worked both ways. I got cock, he got drunk. But I think he was more pissed off because Kyle was also out 'on a date', so we both got 'it' and he was stuck at home with Kath. But I'll be seeing Mart Thursday, Friday, oh and Saturday so I know we're gonna be chewing the fat on this one!
Now obviously if I'd have been with Ant tonight I wouldn't be writing this. The sod didn't ring me this afternoon. I'd been horny all day thinking about him. Then this afternoon I was clock-watching, praying for my mobile to go off. Ant is a nice guy but all I want from him is sex. I know there's a lot more to him than that, and over time I know I'll get to know it. But for now, his biggest interest to me is his dick. I'm being honest. Plus I don't want him to get into thinking that I'll be good as a boyfriend to him. Even though that has an appeal.
So I arrived home horny and frustrated. What do I do? I log into Gaydar with the sole intent of getting cock. Did I score? You bet! Nice guy, 26, good body, horny. Not English and it became apparent to me that there was either a culture difference or I am so not used to having men come round to my house just for sex without doing the alcohol/drugs route first. Nevertheless, he's gone away happy. I got one load out of him (hand and mouth) but couldn't quite squeeze that second one out with my arse. That was a pity. I licked his first off his stomach, he tasted nice, and I think he was a bit startled when I started to lap it all up.
My orders were to answer the door naked and with a hard-on. Of course, I obliged. And instead of shaking my hand as I let him in, he shook my cock. How very continental! Another of my orders was to have porn going when he arrived. Now my video is a little on the fucked side - it wants repairing with a new one - so fortunately the only DVD porn I have happened to fit the bill. Thank you SkaterBoy! And it just so happens that there's one actor in it that does it for me everytime - mentioning no names *blush*. He was quite surprised to find out that the movie was British. My other choice, had my video been working was Triga's Football Orgy, but I know now that he wouldn't have got that.
And you know that Mart and I have no secrets. Well I sent him a text message about my achievement. Before I'd even got the delivery report back my phone was going. I knew it was Mart wanting all the juice. He wasn't shocked, more jealous. But that worked both ways. I got cock, he got drunk. But I think he was more pissed off because Kyle was also out 'on a date', so we both got 'it' and he was stuck at home with Kath. But I'll be seeing Mart Thursday, Friday, oh and Saturday so I know we're gonna be chewing the fat on this one!
Ahh Poor Baby
I got a phone call this morning from Mart. He'd been sent home from work. They were having breakfast and he threw up. Mart rarely has any problems with food but today he just couldn't keep anything down. This was coupled with some nasty stomach pains, and generally he felt like shit. His voice when I answered the phone was wishy-washy and subdued. Not like him at all. So I ordered (yes, you read right) him to take a long hot bath (he prefers to shower), drink lots of water and to rest in bed for the day.
Anyway, part way through my decorating I decided to send him a text message.
Still, Ant has promised to ring me this afternoon (shit I didn't think it was that late. Oops!) to decide whether I fancy going across for the evening. He was really keen for me to go over on Saturday and a little down when I said I couldn't. I'll make it up to him - wink, wink
Anyway, part way through my decorating I decided to send him a text message.
Mart has a vivid enough imagination. He was shocked enough when I told him that I turned Ant down, and even more aghast when he found out it was because I was decorating. It's only taken me 12 months to get round to it.Sorry to disturb, honey. Something to make you laugh. I'm stark bollock naked,
painting and listening to that Ministry of Sound CD. Oo she feels the need for a pill!
Still, Ant has promised to ring me this afternoon (shit I didn't think it was that late. Oops!) to decide whether I fancy going across for the evening. He was really keen for me to go over on Saturday and a little down when I said I couldn't. I'll make it up to him - wink, wink
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Also Newsworthy
Alcohol May Expose Mouth To HIV
Researchers Claim To Block HIV Reproduction
Marijuana Boosts HIV Therapy Adherence
Researchers Claim To Block HIV Reproduction
Marijuana Boosts HIV Therapy Adherence
In Todays News
Just popped round to the local shop to get some more ciggies and spotted this headline AIDS Fear of Gazza in the Sunday Mirror. I don't buy newspapers (and haven't seen the news today) and I don't understand football but the fallout from this could prove interesting.
Sore Back Update
Think we've identified what is wrong with my back. I've got a muscle in spasm. Still in pain with it, but at least I can do things now without keeling over in agony. Moving the TV unit across the room yesterday was a slow and painful operation. I knew there was a reason why I wanted to get castors for it.
Just A Case Of Bad Timing
Well yesterday I gets the motivation to start doing something around the house. I've taken the curtains down in the living room and moved all the furniture to one side of the room, got a dust sheet laid (ok, one of my Mum's old duvet covers. Shh!), tin of paint and roller ready and I've stripped down to just a pair of shorts when my mobile goes off.
It's 5.30pm. It was Ant asking me whether I was busy and did I facy a shag. He he! Stupid question. But there was a problem. Aside from the fact that if I didn't make a start on the decorating today I'd never get round to it again in moving the furniture I'd blocked the front door. So no one was going in or out!
Fuck!
I also remembered at 10pm that I was supposed to be sending an email to arrange someone coming round today for sex. Bollocks! Yeah I could clear the doorway but the room is half decorated and there's crap everywhere. Not a very inviting sight. I know it will look good when it's all finished but this is part of the reason why I hate decorating. Plus the cat gets all concerned when the house is in uproar.
Right back to the slog. This is going to take me ages!
It's 5.30pm. It was Ant asking me whether I was busy and did I facy a shag. He he! Stupid question. But there was a problem. Aside from the fact that if I didn't make a start on the decorating today I'd never get round to it again in moving the furniture I'd blocked the front door. So no one was going in or out!
Fuck!
I also remembered at 10pm that I was supposed to be sending an email to arrange someone coming round today for sex. Bollocks! Yeah I could clear the doorway but the room is half decorated and there's crap everywhere. Not a very inviting sight. I know it will look good when it's all finished but this is part of the reason why I hate decorating. Plus the cat gets all concerned when the house is in uproar.
Right back to the slog. This is going to take me ages!
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Something Borrowed...
With thanks to Lee and Darian some questions 'borrowed' from their Meme's:
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'Lola's Theme' by ShapeShifter's, especially the hook line 'I'm a different person...' though musically it's just my thang. 2004 saw me become a very different person from the year before. The strong side of me is much stronger, but the weaker side of me is also weaker. There's a lot more love, compasion, respect and desire in me now than I'm ever aware of before.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
You'd have to know me pretty well to get this one. There's too much in there to explain!
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'Lola's Theme' by ShapeShifter's, especially the hook line 'I'm a different person...' though musically it's just my thang. 2004 saw me become a very different person from the year before. The strong side of me is much stronger, but the weaker side of me is also weaker. There's a lot more love, compasion, respect and desire in me now than I'm ever aware of before.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
When you're walkin' down the street
And the man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Want to open you up like Christmas
You gotta wrap your fuzzy in a big red bow
Ain't no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess
[Filthy / Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters, 2004]
You'd have to know me pretty well to get this one. There's too much in there to explain!
Out For Tea
Because I'd not seen Pete in ages, and with me being occupied over Christmas and New Year we arranged to meet last night. I thought he was supposed to be coming over to mine for something to eat, but because he'd moved (with his sister) just before Christmas we decided that I would go over to the new place.
I wasn't sure what to expect. We met in town, had a drink. Everything was nice, polite and sociable. The way it should be. While we were drinking we spotted Mart. He came and joined us. He was, erm, rather drunk. It had been the first time in a long while that Mart and Pete had been in the same room as each other, let alone talk pleasantly with each other. Mart being drunk here probably helped. Their argument was all to do with me going with Mart. A petty argument and frankly nothing at all to do with Pete, after all I wasn't with him at the time.
Just as we finished our drinks Pete's phone went. He dashed out to answer it and I was left with Mart. He leaned into me and we snogged. Twice, actually. He was staying there to meet someone from work so we wished each other a good night and I went to find Pete. Of course Mart got a 'goodbye kiss'. I hate it when I see 'that' lust in his eyes and there's nothing I can do about it.
We got the bus back and finally arrived back at Pete's. His sister was there already. We ate, chatted, and shared a couple of joints, and watched some shite on the TV. The new place is nice. It's tidy as well, which was a bit of a shock. His sister tells me that he's up early most mornings cleaning. I was stunned. His old flat was always a mess. I admit that I'm not always the cleanest of people, but I always try and keep the place relatively tidy.
His sister had a bath and then went to bed. We stayed up a little and caught the end of Celebrity Big Brother. I didn't even know it had started. But I might end up watching it for two reasons: Jeremy Edwards (aparently once in Hollyoaks, now in Holby City) and Kenzie (from Blazin' Squad). There was one bit where Kenzie had his shirt off. Ok, the lad is 19, but fuck me what a body! I know I gasped when I saw it. Pete just giggled at me and went 'I know!' But the best was to come. Jeremy had found a room with a water bed on it and ended up with him, Bridgite Neilson and some other woman (don't know who she is) lying on it. He bounced on the bed. One of the women said that he should carry on doing that and they'd all soon be asleep. Not what I was thinking, and I verbalised my thoughts without thinking. Then later on they showed him taking his jeans off. Very nice shot of his arse in tight white boxer-briefs. 'Nice arse.' I commented, Pete agreed. Then they started playing with the camera angles (spoil sports) but we ended up with a very quick flash of the front of his boxer briefs. 'Packet shot! Packet shot!' I chorused just before the camera angle changed. That guy looks like he's hung like a donkey! 'My sister's just next door!' Pete shushed. I started to giggle, and apologised. 'You know it's not like you've got the girls round!'. Shortly after that we went to bed.
I went to sleep in my short. The place only has two bedrooms, his sister in one and Pete in the other. I shared the bed with Pete. I was wondering whether he'd attempt anything with me. I don't believe he did. But I know that during the night he snuggled firmly behind me and I felt a hard cock slip between my thighs and bump against my backdoor. I didn't respond and just went back to sleep.
I wasn't sure what to expect. We met in town, had a drink. Everything was nice, polite and sociable. The way it should be. While we were drinking we spotted Mart. He came and joined us. He was, erm, rather drunk. It had been the first time in a long while that Mart and Pete had been in the same room as each other, let alone talk pleasantly with each other. Mart being drunk here probably helped. Their argument was all to do with me going with Mart. A petty argument and frankly nothing at all to do with Pete, after all I wasn't with him at the time.
Just as we finished our drinks Pete's phone went. He dashed out to answer it and I was left with Mart. He leaned into me and we snogged. Twice, actually. He was staying there to meet someone from work so we wished each other a good night and I went to find Pete. Of course Mart got a 'goodbye kiss'. I hate it when I see 'that' lust in his eyes and there's nothing I can do about it.
We got the bus back and finally arrived back at Pete's. His sister was there already. We ate, chatted, and shared a couple of joints, and watched some shite on the TV. The new place is nice. It's tidy as well, which was a bit of a shock. His sister tells me that he's up early most mornings cleaning. I was stunned. His old flat was always a mess. I admit that I'm not always the cleanest of people, but I always try and keep the place relatively tidy.
His sister had a bath and then went to bed. We stayed up a little and caught the end of Celebrity Big Brother. I didn't even know it had started. But I might end up watching it for two reasons: Jeremy Edwards (aparently once in Hollyoaks, now in Holby City) and Kenzie (from Blazin' Squad). There was one bit where Kenzie had his shirt off. Ok, the lad is 19, but fuck me what a body! I know I gasped when I saw it. Pete just giggled at me and went 'I know!' But the best was to come. Jeremy had found a room with a water bed on it and ended up with him, Bridgite Neilson and some other woman (don't know who she is) lying on it. He bounced on the bed. One of the women said that he should carry on doing that and they'd all soon be asleep. Not what I was thinking, and I verbalised my thoughts without thinking. Then later on they showed him taking his jeans off. Very nice shot of his arse in tight white boxer-briefs. 'Nice arse.' I commented, Pete agreed. Then they started playing with the camera angles (spoil sports) but we ended up with a very quick flash of the front of his boxer briefs. 'Packet shot! Packet shot!' I chorused just before the camera angle changed. That guy looks like he's hung like a donkey! 'My sister's just next door!' Pete shushed. I started to giggle, and apologised. 'You know it's not like you've got the girls round!'. Shortly after that we went to bed.
I went to sleep in my short. The place only has two bedrooms, his sister in one and Pete in the other. I shared the bed with Pete. I was wondering whether he'd attempt anything with me. I don't believe he did. But I know that during the night he snuggled firmly behind me and I felt a hard cock slip between my thighs and bump against my backdoor. I didn't respond and just went back to sleep.
Friday, January 07, 2005
1st Week Back At Work...
... and don't I know it!
I'm knackered and looking forward to the weekend for some rest.
Bollocks! It's a five day week next week. Bad news!
I'm knackered and looking forward to the weekend for some rest.
Bollocks! It's a five day week next week. Bad news!
Hand Jobs and Blow Jobs and Sex on Narcotics
These are a few of my favourite things!
It's amazing what search engines turn up. Came across the following three articles today. They're primarily aimed at women (I think) but it's all useful information:
Give The Boy A Hand
Going Down There
Sex and Drugs
It's amazing what search engines turn up. Came across the following three articles today. They're primarily aimed at women (I think) but it's all useful information:
Give The Boy A Hand
Going Down There
Sex and Drugs
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Oo. Forgot To Tell Y'All
I've been set a task. My mission, and I've already accepted it, is to get Kyle and Mart with myself over to Amsterdam at the end of March. Long weekend away kind of thing. None of us have been there before so it's going to be an experience. Obviously we're trying to do this as, ahem, economically as possible!
I've located the flight, scouted potential hotels. Mart and I are likely to share a room (Kyle didn't bat an eyelid when Mart suggested this) and that's cool with me.
Everything was going brilliantly with my research until...
... I stumbled into a whole load of leather and bondage-type websites. That whiled away a couple of hours. Oops. Kyle's getting worried about my sexual development. I'm just pleased that I do shock him (completely) from time to time. Mart, bless him, just takes it in his stride. Being the youngest and knowing that senility runs in 'our family' I'm sure he just sees it as the way he's gonna end up in a few years.
But back to Amsterdam. We know we're going to hit the saunas, you can guarantee that Kyle and I will find (partake of) at least one darkroom. I told Kyle about StableMasters and his eyes lit up like fairly lights. And he dares to make comments about my liberal attitude to sex! So the evenings are sown up. It's just the day times we need to take care of now. Rather alarmed that I can't find any details about sleazy cottages. But as Mart said, '...with all the rest of the sex around there who would really want to do it in a cottage? Apart from you!'
Kyle wants to go cycling. Now that could be interesting...
So if anyone has any recommendations we're very willing to receive them. It's going to be our little adventure, just the three of us. We're all so looking forward to it.
I've located the flight, scouted potential hotels. Mart and I are likely to share a room (Kyle didn't bat an eyelid when Mart suggested this) and that's cool with me.
Everything was going brilliantly with my research until...
... I stumbled into a whole load of leather and bondage-type websites. That whiled away a couple of hours. Oops. Kyle's getting worried about my sexual development. I'm just pleased that I do shock him (completely) from time to time. Mart, bless him, just takes it in his stride. Being the youngest and knowing that senility runs in 'our family' I'm sure he just sees it as the way he's gonna end up in a few years.
But back to Amsterdam. We know we're going to hit the saunas, you can guarantee that Kyle and I will find (partake of) at least one darkroom. I told Kyle about StableMasters and his eyes lit up like fairly lights. And he dares to make comments about my liberal attitude to sex! So the evenings are sown up. It's just the day times we need to take care of now. Rather alarmed that I can't find any details about sleazy cottages. But as Mart said, '...with all the rest of the sex around there who would really want to do it in a cottage? Apart from you!'
Kyle wants to go cycling. Now that could be interesting...
So if anyone has any recommendations we're very willing to receive them. It's going to be our little adventure, just the three of us. We're all so looking forward to it.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Anyone Wanna Sore Back?
And before anyone thinks that's a euphemism for me being horny enough to bone someone, let me set the record straight. Whilst yes, I am exceptionally horny (again), I do have a very sore back. Very sore.
Don't ask me what I've done. I really don't know. It was fine yesterday morning when I woke up, then about 2pm in the afternoon I started to get a twinge just to the right side of my spine on the inside of my ribcage. I met Kyle and we got the bus over to Marts last night. The bus was packed so we both had to stand. About halfway along the journey I got a sudden and severe twinge. I really thought that someone had put a knife into my back.
This is worse than when I had bruised ribs before Mardi Gras. I'm ok provided I don't move, reach for anything, lift anything or breath. Can only think it's lack of (sexual) exercise.
Don't ask me what I've done. I really don't know. It was fine yesterday morning when I woke up, then about 2pm in the afternoon I started to get a twinge just to the right side of my spine on the inside of my ribcage. I met Kyle and we got the bus over to Marts last night. The bus was packed so we both had to stand. About halfway along the journey I got a sudden and severe twinge. I really thought that someone had put a knife into my back.
This is worse than when I had bruised ribs before Mardi Gras. I'm ok provided I don't move, reach for anything, lift anything or breath. Can only think it's lack of (sexual) exercise.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Indoor Golf
Found this at http://library.gaycafe.com/nifty/information/indoor-golf
- Each player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
- Course to be played must be approved by the owner of the course before play can begin.
- Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
- For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the stiffness of the shaft before play begins.
- Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
- The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
- Players are cautioned to select the proper hole for play.
- It is normally considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arriving at the course. The experienced player will usually admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers. He should also assure himself that the hole is properly lubricated to aid in stroking. Additional lubricant may be added to the club if necessary; preferably by the course owner.
- Players are cautioned not to mention any other courses that have been played recently, or concurrently to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.
- Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, especially on a different course being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to get irate if they find that someone else has been playing what they consider their own "private course."
- Players should not assume the course is in shape for play at all times. Some owners may be embarrassed to admit that the course is temporarily under repair, and the player is advised to use tact in this determination. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
- It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
- Course owners shall be the judge of who is the best player. It is considered bad form for a player to reveal his score to other players, or that he even played the course.
- Players who have contracted for exclusive rights to play a private course are cautioned that information reaching the owner that he has played some other course may result in the contract being canceled and a suit for damages instituted.
Man Milk or Moo Milk
Now being a gay man you would expect me to be able to tell the difference. Right?
Well I scored 12 out of 16. See how you do in the Man Milk or Moo Milk quiz, courtesy of B3ta.
Well I scored 12 out of 16. See how you do in the Man Milk or Moo Milk quiz, courtesy of B3ta.
Monday, January 03, 2005
My New Year's Resolutions
Well here they are, in no particular order:
- Put on (a little) weight and build up (shape) my body
- Eat more healthily (that does include regular portions of cock!)
- Don't put up with shit from anyone
- Make sure I'm happy for the majority of the time
- Cut back on smoking (that doesn't include cock!)
- Try and achieve at least one thing a day
- Get my house sorted out (decorating) and get my finances into shape
- Make the best I can out of every situation
- Go on holiday with my babies
- Give up sex (Yeah! Right!!!)
Other people are sharing their New Year's Resolutions here.
Start As You Mean To Go On
Well this is my first post for 2005. It's been a hard weekend - in more ways than one!
Firstly, an observation. I happened to put a picture of the piercing on my Gaydar profile - same pic as below and I've got quite a few people interested in trying it out. There's one lad who had it done about a week after I did and we're both keen on playing. I was thinking of getting the PA done when I did because the depression meds were stopping me from performing. Oh, it was all there in my head, but the flesh was, let's say 'intermittent'. Then the doctor told me to stop taking them because of the side effects. Can't remember whether I posted about that. Well I've definately got my willy back! Yay! It's taken weeks to get that shit properly out of my body but it feels so good now. I know I've been silly by playing before I'm properly healed but I know I'm healing pretty well. Temptation is a terrible thing!
My last sexual conquest of 2004 was my first of 2005 - yes I went with Ant again. More on that momentarily. So I've ended one year as a slut. And have begun the next as one as well. So I guess that means that 2005 needs to be cock, cock and more cock. I've still got to remember all the New Year's Resolutions that we came up with. We all tried to think them up on Friday. I knew someone should have written them down. There was a mixture of the serious, the stupid and the down-right hillarious.
So, the party. Mum dropped me off outside Mart's just as he and boyf were returning with a crate of beer. It was a surprise to see boyf as I didn't know he was coming. He and Mart had been out the night before so they were still pretty wasted - however a little bit of speed made them go a long long way! We'd been in about an hour by which time Kyle had arrived. Mart was just taking a shower when there was a knock on the door. We all thought it was Chris as he was due at any time. No it was Ant. Sort of a surprise visit. There was a lot of body language and flirting. I was trying to avoid it all, but I was fighting a losing battle. Mart's face was a picture when he came out of the shower and noticed Ant standing there. It wasn't a problem - Mart has no strong feelings either way about Ant - just more like 'not you again!'
They started drinking but I wanted to wait a while as I needed to clean my piercing and get changed before hand. There was also a little bit of hurry-up-powder headed my way and no way was I gonna be able to attend to myself after that! Mart eventually cleared himself out of the bathroom and I was stood in the kitchen with a cup of salf water. Ant asked why I was drinking water. He screwed his face up when I told him it was salt water and visibly cringed when he realised it was for putting my dick in. Everyone thinks that salt water is going to hurt. Trust me, it doesn't, and if the water is warm enough it's a very pleasureable experience.
I take my bag into the bathroom and begin to strip. I went into the bathroom wearing jeans, polo shirt and sweatshirt with my rockport boots and a black baseball cap (Ant likes that) and came out wearing PVC pants and a crinkly white t-shirt top with a set of dog-tags round my neck along with my boots. I never know what to wear at parties so I'd got a line of outfits prepared and this was stage one. I walked back out into the kitchen. boyf looked at me, stunned. To Mart and Kyle this was just me. Chris had arrived while I'd been getting changed and he seemed interested in what he saw.
'Oh, and she's wearing make-up as well. Who's she trying to pull tonight?' Kyle shouted out.
'Eye make-up and only a little. I know what I'm going to look like later!' I reply.
They all start laughing. It's been a very long time since I've touched make-up and its normally only eye liner and mascara - I've been told I've got very nice eyes - and it's only to bring my eyes out a bit.
Most of Marts parties end up in the kitchen and this was no exception. I took residence sitting in a corner of the breakfast bar next to Chris who was on a stool on the other side. Ant was milling around but eventually ended up sitting on the opposite side of the bar to Chris, right next to me.
'Not sure about them pants, mate,' Ant said, 'you look better to me in your jeans.'
'I don't wear them very often. These are just for when I'm slutting it.' I replied, flirting with him.
'Can handle the top, just, but them pants, nah, not for me.'
'Ah, but you ain't seen what's underneath.' I said refering to the black hot-pants I was also wearing (for stage 2)
'I have.' he retorted
I giggled, 'no, I don't mean that!'
The nice thing about the outfit was that it accentuated my crotch. Because the PVC is shiny it highlights all the contours anyway, but with the hot-pants and a cock ring on underneath the whole package looked huge. The t-shirt always rides up and it's pure white so it shows off any flesh that is naturally showing. Ant sat down to roll a joint, his eyes drifting down my body, pausing at crotch level and then shaking his head as he looked down my legs. I couldn't help but laugh.
Mart called me away while we dropped a bomb of powder. It took two that night for me to feel it and the third was just for good measure. Sometime after the second the lights in the kitchen were starting to glare in my eyes. I was the only one to suffer as I was the one sat highest up so I went to get my baseball cap. It didn't do much to stop the glare but I felt better for having it. Ant seemed to like it.
The conversation between Ant and me was hushed but flirty. He'd join in other people's conversations and then drop a line in that was meant for me to get. He'd look at me, stare deep into my eyes and smile. I'd giggle or add something more in. Kyle got wise to what was going on and stood close to us. Ant kept with the flirty talk, Kyle heard it all, but realised that it was directed at me. At one point he was sat next to me on the counter but he wasn't comfortable up there. Then he started preparing a bong. Now Ant likes his weed, but normally it's just joints with him. He was about to be inducted to one of our old-fashioned bong parties. The hard way. It was the same for Chris as well. He'd never touched a bong before that night. Both of them got really into it.
After a couple of rounds of the bong it was pill time. Mart, Kyle and myself had one little drop of happiness each. Then back to my perch on the counter and everyone else found chairs and sat down. Bear in mind also that along with the drugs came the alcohol: vodka and then beer. So we were all very tuned in to each other. Chris went very quiet, which we all found unusual but that could have been because he was working the following day. I was also aware that I was spending more time flirting with Ant than talking with Chris. I think it was kind of expected that I wind Chris up but I was otherwise occupied.
By about 10.30 the drugs were working their magic and we were three-quarters of the way through the bong mix. I'd had enough of sitting up on the counter and decided to sit on the floor. However, I became aware that if I spent too long on the floor I'd stretch the shape of my pants. So after a while I disappeared and came back with a pair of white trackies on. Stage two of the outfit changes (hot-pants, t-shirt and cap) went through the window. I came back and took my place on the floor to the left of Ant and the right of Kyle. Ant looked at me and pouted his lips with satisfaction and nodded, yes, this was more to his liking. There was a glint in his eye. I knew he'd been flirting with Kyle as well as me that night but by this point in time I knew who he was taking back with him. You could say that the white trackies kinda clinched it for me. I knew Kyle was horny, but he kept looking at his watch and his phone as if he was expecting a call to take him away from all this. Me, I was definately horny. When I was on the floor everytime that Ant looked at me I sprung a bone. Thank god for the bagginess of my trackies. Mart knew what was going on. He wasn't going to stop me or Ant.
Because there was no clock in the kitchen we decided to stagger the alarms on some of the mobile phones we had to hand. We didn't set them to midnight, but to a few minutes before. Midnight came. We kissed and hugged and wished each other happy new year and then carried on drinking and chatting.
A short while after Ant leant in the direction of myself and Kyle and stated that he was thinking of going about 1am. I discretely nodded. Ant put his jumper on. Kyle found his and also put it on. It was roasting in the kitchen, always is, so he didn't put it on because he was cold! This was my cue to finish my drink. I did and then went to get my coat. A few moments later Ant stood and put his coat on. I stood and did the same. 'Right, we're off', he announced and headed for the door. I did kisses and see-ya-soons to everyone. Kyle looked at me, but was pleasant with me and made a comment about making sure I zipped my coat up. Mart let us out.
Ant doesn't live that far away from Mart so it was only a short walk but it was freezing. I knew that Ant would warm me up when we got back to his. In his living room we removed boots and coats and then sat back on the couch. He rolled another joint, god knows how much of the stuff we'd had that night, and then started kissing. In the middle of tonguing he took my cap and threw it over to land on my coat. We managed to finish the spliff between kissing, cuddling and feeling each others bodies and then it was up to bed.
In bed it was more of the same. He'd realised that most of the party had been on something and asked what it was. 'Well, you ain't gonna sleep tonight!' was his response to hearing that I had speed and ecstacy in my body. I told him that I would, eventually, and I usually do.
I knew that this wasn't going to be a long session - not as long as I wanted at any rate - as Ant was pretty wasted from the bongs. I started with him in my mouth working him up to a full throbbing boner. I started moaning with satisfaction while I chowed on him. I knew where this was going to be going and I knew we both really wanted it. He started calling me a horny little fucker and with one hand started rubbing my neck and trying to push more of his meat in to my mouth and with the other he found my balls. He traced from my balls backwards to find my ring piece and started to press it an rub around it. 'You love your arse being played with.' he stated. I just purred.
He roughly pulled me up his body. I took care not to catch my dick ring on anything - not an easy task. Then we kissed again. He'd slicked up a finger with some of his saliva and as his tongue penetrated my mouth his finger entered my arse. I opened my mouth wider to moan but the sound was blocked by his mouth.
We'd used up all his lube the previous afternoon so it was fortunate that I keep a little tube in my make-up bag and just happened to transfer it to my coat before we left. Nothing like being prepared! He asked me for the lube and squirted a healthy amount on his fingers which he smeared round my arse hole. Then he positioned me on all fours and went around behind me. I felt him line his cock up and push gently. He entered me all the way in one motion. I put my head down sideways on the pillow so just my arse was waving in the air. He began to slide slowly in and out of my hole giving me the full length of his cock. He knew instinctively that I liked that.
We must have spent about an hour with him just banging into me. More lube was applied from time to time and he'd slam all the way in to make sure I got the best from it. I was in heaven. Then came the point where he needed to cum. He pulled out of me and we lay side by side and proceeded to wank ourselves. I told him that I wanted his big juicy load all over me. And I got it. He tried putting a finger up my arse and rubbing my g-spot. It felt good but I knew I wasn't going to cum. Ant giggled. 'You ain't gonna cum with that lot inside you! I'll have to get your load out in the morning.' And with that we cuddled into each other and went to sleep.
My sleep was fitfull, off and on, but I did sleep. I disturbed him a few times during the night when I staggered to the loo and he'd always ask whether I was alright.
In the morning when we'd both woken up I was still mega horny. We smoked a cigarette each. I cuddled him when we'd finished and explored his body. I found his cock and started to massage it. He realised I was still horny but this was fine with him. Once I'd got it to half-mast I went under the covers and put it in my mouth and sucked him to a full erection. I'd lick gently from root to tip on the underside and then swallow the entire shaft in one go. He liked that.
Still stroking his cock I came up and lay back at the side of him and asked him to suck mine. He did. Oh it was heaven. Now that we're getting used to working with the ring through the end of my dick giving and receiving a blow job with it is becoming easier and a very pleasurable experience. I never knew that it would feel this good, honestly I didn't. I wanted him to fuck me again, but he declined the invitation. Not a problem as there will be many more times for Ant to fuck me. Again we covered me in both our loads. We cleaned up and got dressed.
We went downstairs for a brew and I rang to see whether Mart and the rest of them were up. Kath answered the phone. She sounded rough, but I got the impression that the others weren't awake yet. Ant rolled a joint and said that we'd smoke that and then go over to them. Another two joints later and we were still sat talking! Now the weed could have been an invitation for more sex, but if it was I'm sorry that I missed it.
My legs were like jelly as we walked back up the road. I felt very self conscious walking round all in white. Let's face it, this puppy ain't no virgin no more! By the time we got to Mart's everyone was up. The only one who wasn't there was Chris because he'd gone last night to get over to work. Again we were all in the kitchen. I was trying to distance myself from Ant for some reason, but it didn't work and I kept feeling myself being drawn towards him. We shared a couple more joints and there was loads of eye contact between us. I think Ant is trying to suss out whether I'm boyfriend-material. Even though I like him he's not what I would want as a boyfriend. I don't think we'd be compatible in that way.
Ant said he had things he wanted to do round the house - like sleep cos I'd worn him out! - and left. Mart handed me the keys to let him out and lock up afterwards. We kissed just inside the door and he said he'd give me a call with a wink.
When I got back to the others they were stood there. Silent. Kyle broke the silence.
'Well?' he questioned.
'Well what?' I smiled back.
'So what was it like?' he tried again.
'It was goooood.' I cooed. 'Yes he fucked me into the Cemetary again!'
Kyle rolled his eyes. Mart sniggered. And Kath completely missed the plot!
'You'll have to take a tent next time if he's shagging you outdoors.' She said
I had to explain that the view from his bedroom window was that of a Cemetary. The fact that the temperature outside was sub-zero last night appeared to escape her. I asked Mart whether I could have a bath. I knew the hot water would soothe my body, wake me up a little and wash away Ant's 'cumings and goings' as Mart put it. Also gave me chance to have another wank! I was still completely horned up.
Firstly, an observation. I happened to put a picture of the piercing on my Gaydar profile - same pic as below and I've got quite a few people interested in trying it out. There's one lad who had it done about a week after I did and we're both keen on playing. I was thinking of getting the PA done when I did because the depression meds were stopping me from performing. Oh, it was all there in my head, but the flesh was, let's say 'intermittent'. Then the doctor told me to stop taking them because of the side effects. Can't remember whether I posted about that. Well I've definately got my willy back! Yay! It's taken weeks to get that shit properly out of my body but it feels so good now. I know I've been silly by playing before I'm properly healed but I know I'm healing pretty well. Temptation is a terrible thing!
My last sexual conquest of 2004 was my first of 2005 - yes I went with Ant again. More on that momentarily. So I've ended one year as a slut. And have begun the next as one as well. So I guess that means that 2005 needs to be cock, cock and more cock. I've still got to remember all the New Year's Resolutions that we came up with. We all tried to think them up on Friday. I knew someone should have written them down. There was a mixture of the serious, the stupid and the down-right hillarious.
So, the party. Mum dropped me off outside Mart's just as he and boyf were returning with a crate of beer. It was a surprise to see boyf as I didn't know he was coming. He and Mart had been out the night before so they were still pretty wasted - however a little bit of speed made them go a long long way! We'd been in about an hour by which time Kyle had arrived. Mart was just taking a shower when there was a knock on the door. We all thought it was Chris as he was due at any time. No it was Ant. Sort of a surprise visit. There was a lot of body language and flirting. I was trying to avoid it all, but I was fighting a losing battle. Mart's face was a picture when he came out of the shower and noticed Ant standing there. It wasn't a problem - Mart has no strong feelings either way about Ant - just more like 'not you again!'
They started drinking but I wanted to wait a while as I needed to clean my piercing and get changed before hand. There was also a little bit of hurry-up-powder headed my way and no way was I gonna be able to attend to myself after that! Mart eventually cleared himself out of the bathroom and I was stood in the kitchen with a cup of salf water. Ant asked why I was drinking water. He screwed his face up when I told him it was salt water and visibly cringed when he realised it was for putting my dick in. Everyone thinks that salt water is going to hurt. Trust me, it doesn't, and if the water is warm enough it's a very pleasureable experience.
I take my bag into the bathroom and begin to strip. I went into the bathroom wearing jeans, polo shirt and sweatshirt with my rockport boots and a black baseball cap (Ant likes that) and came out wearing PVC pants and a crinkly white t-shirt top with a set of dog-tags round my neck along with my boots. I never know what to wear at parties so I'd got a line of outfits prepared and this was stage one. I walked back out into the kitchen. boyf looked at me, stunned. To Mart and Kyle this was just me. Chris had arrived while I'd been getting changed and he seemed interested in what he saw.
'Oh, and she's wearing make-up as well. Who's she trying to pull tonight?' Kyle shouted out.
'Eye make-up and only a little. I know what I'm going to look like later!' I reply.
They all start laughing. It's been a very long time since I've touched make-up and its normally only eye liner and mascara - I've been told I've got very nice eyes - and it's only to bring my eyes out a bit.
Most of Marts parties end up in the kitchen and this was no exception. I took residence sitting in a corner of the breakfast bar next to Chris who was on a stool on the other side. Ant was milling around but eventually ended up sitting on the opposite side of the bar to Chris, right next to me.
'Not sure about them pants, mate,' Ant said, 'you look better to me in your jeans.'
'I don't wear them very often. These are just for when I'm slutting it.' I replied, flirting with him.
'Can handle the top, just, but them pants, nah, not for me.'
'Ah, but you ain't seen what's underneath.' I said refering to the black hot-pants I was also wearing (for stage 2)
'I have.' he retorted
I giggled, 'no, I don't mean that!'
The nice thing about the outfit was that it accentuated my crotch. Because the PVC is shiny it highlights all the contours anyway, but with the hot-pants and a cock ring on underneath the whole package looked huge. The t-shirt always rides up and it's pure white so it shows off any flesh that is naturally showing. Ant sat down to roll a joint, his eyes drifting down my body, pausing at crotch level and then shaking his head as he looked down my legs. I couldn't help but laugh.
Mart called me away while we dropped a bomb of powder. It took two that night for me to feel it and the third was just for good measure. Sometime after the second the lights in the kitchen were starting to glare in my eyes. I was the only one to suffer as I was the one sat highest up so I went to get my baseball cap. It didn't do much to stop the glare but I felt better for having it. Ant seemed to like it.
The conversation between Ant and me was hushed but flirty. He'd join in other people's conversations and then drop a line in that was meant for me to get. He'd look at me, stare deep into my eyes and smile. I'd giggle or add something more in. Kyle got wise to what was going on and stood close to us. Ant kept with the flirty talk, Kyle heard it all, but realised that it was directed at me. At one point he was sat next to me on the counter but he wasn't comfortable up there. Then he started preparing a bong. Now Ant likes his weed, but normally it's just joints with him. He was about to be inducted to one of our old-fashioned bong parties. The hard way. It was the same for Chris as well. He'd never touched a bong before that night. Both of them got really into it.
After a couple of rounds of the bong it was pill time. Mart, Kyle and myself had one little drop of happiness each. Then back to my perch on the counter and everyone else found chairs and sat down. Bear in mind also that along with the drugs came the alcohol: vodka and then beer. So we were all very tuned in to each other. Chris went very quiet, which we all found unusual but that could have been because he was working the following day. I was also aware that I was spending more time flirting with Ant than talking with Chris. I think it was kind of expected that I wind Chris up but I was otherwise occupied.
By about 10.30 the drugs were working their magic and we were three-quarters of the way through the bong mix. I'd had enough of sitting up on the counter and decided to sit on the floor. However, I became aware that if I spent too long on the floor I'd stretch the shape of my pants. So after a while I disappeared and came back with a pair of white trackies on. Stage two of the outfit changes (hot-pants, t-shirt and cap) went through the window. I came back and took my place on the floor to the left of Ant and the right of Kyle. Ant looked at me and pouted his lips with satisfaction and nodded, yes, this was more to his liking. There was a glint in his eye. I knew he'd been flirting with Kyle as well as me that night but by this point in time I knew who he was taking back with him. You could say that the white trackies kinda clinched it for me. I knew Kyle was horny, but he kept looking at his watch and his phone as if he was expecting a call to take him away from all this. Me, I was definately horny. When I was on the floor everytime that Ant looked at me I sprung a bone. Thank god for the bagginess of my trackies. Mart knew what was going on. He wasn't going to stop me or Ant.
Because there was no clock in the kitchen we decided to stagger the alarms on some of the mobile phones we had to hand. We didn't set them to midnight, but to a few minutes before. Midnight came. We kissed and hugged and wished each other happy new year and then carried on drinking and chatting.
A short while after Ant leant in the direction of myself and Kyle and stated that he was thinking of going about 1am. I discretely nodded. Ant put his jumper on. Kyle found his and also put it on. It was roasting in the kitchen, always is, so he didn't put it on because he was cold! This was my cue to finish my drink. I did and then went to get my coat. A few moments later Ant stood and put his coat on. I stood and did the same. 'Right, we're off', he announced and headed for the door. I did kisses and see-ya-soons to everyone. Kyle looked at me, but was pleasant with me and made a comment about making sure I zipped my coat up. Mart let us out.
Ant doesn't live that far away from Mart so it was only a short walk but it was freezing. I knew that Ant would warm me up when we got back to his. In his living room we removed boots and coats and then sat back on the couch. He rolled another joint, god knows how much of the stuff we'd had that night, and then started kissing. In the middle of tonguing he took my cap and threw it over to land on my coat. We managed to finish the spliff between kissing, cuddling and feeling each others bodies and then it was up to bed.
In bed it was more of the same. He'd realised that most of the party had been on something and asked what it was. 'Well, you ain't gonna sleep tonight!' was his response to hearing that I had speed and ecstacy in my body. I told him that I would, eventually, and I usually do.
I knew that this wasn't going to be a long session - not as long as I wanted at any rate - as Ant was pretty wasted from the bongs. I started with him in my mouth working him up to a full throbbing boner. I started moaning with satisfaction while I chowed on him. I knew where this was going to be going and I knew we both really wanted it. He started calling me a horny little fucker and with one hand started rubbing my neck and trying to push more of his meat in to my mouth and with the other he found my balls. He traced from my balls backwards to find my ring piece and started to press it an rub around it. 'You love your arse being played with.' he stated. I just purred.
He roughly pulled me up his body. I took care not to catch my dick ring on anything - not an easy task. Then we kissed again. He'd slicked up a finger with some of his saliva and as his tongue penetrated my mouth his finger entered my arse. I opened my mouth wider to moan but the sound was blocked by his mouth.
We'd used up all his lube the previous afternoon so it was fortunate that I keep a little tube in my make-up bag and just happened to transfer it to my coat before we left. Nothing like being prepared! He asked me for the lube and squirted a healthy amount on his fingers which he smeared round my arse hole. Then he positioned me on all fours and went around behind me. I felt him line his cock up and push gently. He entered me all the way in one motion. I put my head down sideways on the pillow so just my arse was waving in the air. He began to slide slowly in and out of my hole giving me the full length of his cock. He knew instinctively that I liked that.
We must have spent about an hour with him just banging into me. More lube was applied from time to time and he'd slam all the way in to make sure I got the best from it. I was in heaven. Then came the point where he needed to cum. He pulled out of me and we lay side by side and proceeded to wank ourselves. I told him that I wanted his big juicy load all over me. And I got it. He tried putting a finger up my arse and rubbing my g-spot. It felt good but I knew I wasn't going to cum. Ant giggled. 'You ain't gonna cum with that lot inside you! I'll have to get your load out in the morning.' And with that we cuddled into each other and went to sleep.
My sleep was fitfull, off and on, but I did sleep. I disturbed him a few times during the night when I staggered to the loo and he'd always ask whether I was alright.
In the morning when we'd both woken up I was still mega horny. We smoked a cigarette each. I cuddled him when we'd finished and explored his body. I found his cock and started to massage it. He realised I was still horny but this was fine with him. Once I'd got it to half-mast I went under the covers and put it in my mouth and sucked him to a full erection. I'd lick gently from root to tip on the underside and then swallow the entire shaft in one go. He liked that.
Still stroking his cock I came up and lay back at the side of him and asked him to suck mine. He did. Oh it was heaven. Now that we're getting used to working with the ring through the end of my dick giving and receiving a blow job with it is becoming easier and a very pleasurable experience. I never knew that it would feel this good, honestly I didn't. I wanted him to fuck me again, but he declined the invitation. Not a problem as there will be many more times for Ant to fuck me. Again we covered me in both our loads. We cleaned up and got dressed.
We went downstairs for a brew and I rang to see whether Mart and the rest of them were up. Kath answered the phone. She sounded rough, but I got the impression that the others weren't awake yet. Ant rolled a joint and said that we'd smoke that and then go over to them. Another two joints later and we were still sat talking! Now the weed could have been an invitation for more sex, but if it was I'm sorry that I missed it.
My legs were like jelly as we walked back up the road. I felt very self conscious walking round all in white. Let's face it, this puppy ain't no virgin no more! By the time we got to Mart's everyone was up. The only one who wasn't there was Chris because he'd gone last night to get over to work. Again we were all in the kitchen. I was trying to distance myself from Ant for some reason, but it didn't work and I kept feeling myself being drawn towards him. We shared a couple more joints and there was loads of eye contact between us. I think Ant is trying to suss out whether I'm boyfriend-material. Even though I like him he's not what I would want as a boyfriend. I don't think we'd be compatible in that way.
Ant said he had things he wanted to do round the house - like sleep cos I'd worn him out! - and left. Mart handed me the keys to let him out and lock up afterwards. We kissed just inside the door and he said he'd give me a call with a wink.
When I got back to the others they were stood there. Silent. Kyle broke the silence.
'Well?' he questioned.
'Well what?' I smiled back.
'So what was it like?' he tried again.
'It was goooood.' I cooed. 'Yes he fucked me into the Cemetary again!'
Kyle rolled his eyes. Mart sniggered. And Kath completely missed the plot!
'You'll have to take a tent next time if he's shagging you outdoors.' She said
I had to explain that the view from his bedroom window was that of a Cemetary. The fact that the temperature outside was sub-zero last night appeared to escape her. I asked Mart whether I could have a bath. I knew the hot water would soothe my body, wake me up a little and wash away Ant's 'cumings and goings' as Mart put it. Also gave me chance to have another wank! I was still completely horned up.