Thursday, March 31, 2005
Hanging Pictures
As promised, pictures of the interlocked rings:
Went to bed with them last night, rolled over and heard a 'chink', thought I'd rolled onto the cat. But no, it was just my rings clanking. Quite fun walking with the two rings in but need to be careful when I sit down. Peeing is a bit messy, and for the 'other stuff' well I'll be back down to one ring for that!
Went to bed with them last night, rolled over and heard a 'chink', thought I'd rolled onto the cat. But no, it was just my rings clanking. Quite fun walking with the two rings in but need to be careful when I sit down. Peeing is a bit messy, and for the 'other stuff' well I'll be back down to one ring for that!
The Love Bug
You can usually tell with my extended family when spring is here. Everyone seems to get 'the love bug'. Everyone's fallen for someone, they're gushing away with how much they love them and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Yuck!!
OK. Just because I'm not in relationship-mode does not give me the right to be so callous about their feelings. But it can be a bit sickening, and I mean that in the vomit-inducing type way not a jealous, catty way.
Arsehole's got it.
Kyle's back from his escapades in London with it (let's see how long this one lasts!).
Mart kinda had it for a while with his new beau. Then it settled down. Though last I heard there was that the bed was not all roses.
And Me? Well, you know the only thing I'm planning on falling in love with at the moment is a nice juicy cock-a-too (or three, or four, or seven...)
Blame it on the sun. That's what I'm doing. Oh shit. I'm going out to get cat food and it looks like its gonna rain. Pah!
OK. Just because I'm not in relationship-mode does not give me the right to be so callous about their feelings. But it can be a bit sickening, and I mean that in the vomit-inducing type way not a jealous, catty way.
Arsehole's got it.
Kyle's back from his escapades in London with it (let's see how long this one lasts!).
Mart kinda had it for a while with his new beau. Then it settled down. Though last I heard there was that the bed was not all roses.
And Me? Well, you know the only thing I'm planning on falling in love with at the moment is a nice juicy cock-a-too (or three, or four, or seven...)
Blame it on the sun. That's what I'm doing. Oh shit. I'm going out to get cat food and it looks like its gonna rain. Pah!
PA Progress
Been some time since I last wrote about my piercings. Been some time since I've done anything at all about my piercings - apart from clean them!
So tonight, amongst other things I've done and forgotten to do (again) I decided to take a nice long soak in a hot bath and try again with the enlarging crescent. I checked the piercing hole a few days ago and noticed that there was a slight gap between the ring and my skin. There's also a nice amount of wobble with the ring. I thought maybe, just maybe I could get the crescent all the way through.
Not quite. Only about 7mm of crescent left to go. That's progress, without even trying. They do say that PAs will enlarge themselves slightly over time and usage. No gory pictures tonight I forgot to take my phone to the bathroom with me. Though I had a laugh to myself making my cock look a little like Jaws with the crescent sticking out of the bottom. OK, so the fin was pointing in the wrong direction but who cares?
Still can't wait to get the 3.2 x 19mm ring in. I'm told I should be able to hang things off the ring. Not of any great weight, of course. I know the vast majority of men want a bigger, longer cock but that's probably not the best way of doing it. Hanging should promote the stretching process ready for a larger gauge ring.
A tip I picked up was to interconnect my next sized ring (the 3.2 x 19) with my current ring (2.4 x 17). So I'm going to try this for a while. Might add a picture of this later (oops, didn't spot the time) as, although impractical for a number of things, I think it looks pretty cool.
So tonight, amongst other things I've done and forgotten to do (again) I decided to take a nice long soak in a hot bath and try again with the enlarging crescent. I checked the piercing hole a few days ago and noticed that there was a slight gap between the ring and my skin. There's also a nice amount of wobble with the ring. I thought maybe, just maybe I could get the crescent all the way through.
Not quite. Only about 7mm of crescent left to go. That's progress, without even trying. They do say that PAs will enlarge themselves slightly over time and usage. No gory pictures tonight I forgot to take my phone to the bathroom with me. Though I had a laugh to myself making my cock look a little like Jaws with the crescent sticking out of the bottom. OK, so the fin was pointing in the wrong direction but who cares?
Still can't wait to get the 3.2 x 19mm ring in. I'm told I should be able to hang things off the ring. Not of any great weight, of course. I know the vast majority of men want a bigger, longer cock but that's probably not the best way of doing it. Hanging should promote the stretching process ready for a larger gauge ring.
A tip I picked up was to interconnect my next sized ring (the 3.2 x 19) with my current ring (2.4 x 17). So I'm going to try this for a while. Might add a picture of this later (oops, didn't spot the time) as, although impractical for a number of things, I think it looks pretty cool.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Worry About Me. Please!!!
I'm say here at my desk. To the right of my keyboard is my mouse (grey in colour). To it's right is my mobile phone (black in colour).
I keep catching my phone out of the corner of my eye and it looks like a bar of chocolate.
What's worse is I keep putting my hand out to pick it up to take a bite. And I can't stand dark chocolate.
I keep catching my phone out of the corner of my eye and it looks like a bar of chocolate.
What's worse is I keep putting my hand out to pick it up to take a bite. And I can't stand dark chocolate.
Self-Exploration?
I'm up to something. I'll admit that. Both Mart and Kyle know it, and are curious. But I'm playing it pretty tight-lipped at the moment. They don't know what it is. This in itself is unusual as I tell them everything.
Call it experimentation, if you like. Trying to broaden my horizons, explore new ideas. Experience new things. All things good for the soul, mind and body, they say.
Actually, there's two things I'm up to. Both Mart and Kyle are pretty unshockable when it comes to me. This time, though, I think I've got something that will shock them both. I've already played a little game of Twenty-Questions with Mart who wondered if my silence was because I'd started seeing a girl. Yea, right! Like that's really gonna happen hon!
Problem is that one of the things I've gotten myself into is affecting a lot of things that I don't want it to. One is the other 'experiment' (which I was enjoying immensely), but it's also taking me away from the people I love and care about. I know I need to wrap it up 'cos its an experiment that I don't want to take part in anymore.
You know how you try something to see if it works for you? It's like that, and I realise that it doesn't work for me. But strangely for me, its not something I can just walk away from. The game doesn't work like that. It involves two other people who I've come to like in a way that was only supposed to be part of the whole equation and it would be unfair to just walk out with no explanation. I'm too concerned about people to do that to anyone.
Thats also part of the reason why I need to get out of it. People are starting to ask questions. People are starting to get very worried about me. People are thinking I've turned my back on them. Truth is I walked into something without thinking it through fully enough. Again, so not like me.
If you haven't already guessed, this is one of those 'what-the-fuck-am-I-doing?' posts. It's been fuelled by a few things: a picture message from my Mum about my Dad coming out of hospital (minor surgery which I knew was impending), Kyle being in London for a week, Mart being pissed off with me, feeling so tired and worn out 'cos this thing is taking up too much time and effort, and lonely 'cos I've not seen the people who mean the most to me in the world for over a fortnight. I could go on, but I wont.
I know I'm rambling but at least getting this thought down helps me realise that I've got so much to lose if I don't knock this one on the head.
Oh, and a phone call from Arsehole an hour ago:
'So you got anyone?'
'Nah, not yet.'
'What! Still not got a boyfriend. Thought you'd got someone down London?'
'London, that was just fun. Nothing serious. Sort of might have had something but I think I bollocksed that one up.'
'I don't fucking believe you! How can someone as gorgeous, loving, and caring as you still be single?' (ok, by this time I knew he was pissed, earlier in the conversation he was proclaiming that he was in love and didn't know what to do next)
I thought about it for a while after finishing the call. I still don't want a full-time boyfriend. If nothing else, this whole thing has taught me to respect relationships, friendships, and the love I have for people. But its also told me that I already knew what pushed the right buttons for me, what makes me tick.
Ah fuck it!! I'm gonna be a slut tomorrow night. It's been over a week since I last got dicked and I am kinda gagging for it. Abstinence was part of the game, not by my choice. If you know where to look, you know where you'll find me...
Call it experimentation, if you like. Trying to broaden my horizons, explore new ideas. Experience new things. All things good for the soul, mind and body, they say.
Actually, there's two things I'm up to. Both Mart and Kyle are pretty unshockable when it comes to me. This time, though, I think I've got something that will shock them both. I've already played a little game of Twenty-Questions with Mart who wondered if my silence was because I'd started seeing a girl. Yea, right! Like that's really gonna happen hon!
Problem is that one of the things I've gotten myself into is affecting a lot of things that I don't want it to. One is the other 'experiment' (which I was enjoying immensely), but it's also taking me away from the people I love and care about. I know I need to wrap it up 'cos its an experiment that I don't want to take part in anymore.
You know how you try something to see if it works for you? It's like that, and I realise that it doesn't work for me. But strangely for me, its not something I can just walk away from. The game doesn't work like that. It involves two other people who I've come to like in a way that was only supposed to be part of the whole equation and it would be unfair to just walk out with no explanation. I'm too concerned about people to do that to anyone.
Thats also part of the reason why I need to get out of it. People are starting to ask questions. People are starting to get very worried about me. People are thinking I've turned my back on them. Truth is I walked into something without thinking it through fully enough. Again, so not like me.
If you haven't already guessed, this is one of those 'what-the-fuck-am-I-doing?' posts. It's been fuelled by a few things: a picture message from my Mum about my Dad coming out of hospital (minor surgery which I knew was impending), Kyle being in London for a week, Mart being pissed off with me, feeling so tired and worn out 'cos this thing is taking up too much time and effort, and lonely 'cos I've not seen the people who mean the most to me in the world for over a fortnight. I could go on, but I wont.
I know I'm rambling but at least getting this thought down helps me realise that I've got so much to lose if I don't knock this one on the head.
Oh, and a phone call from Arsehole an hour ago:
'So you got anyone?'
'Nah, not yet.'
'What! Still not got a boyfriend. Thought you'd got someone down London?'
'London, that was just fun. Nothing serious. Sort of might have had something but I think I bollocksed that one up.'
'I don't fucking believe you! How can someone as gorgeous, loving, and caring as you still be single?' (ok, by this time I knew he was pissed, earlier in the conversation he was proclaiming that he was in love and didn't know what to do next)
I thought about it for a while after finishing the call. I still don't want a full-time boyfriend. If nothing else, this whole thing has taught me to respect relationships, friendships, and the love I have for people. But its also told me that I already knew what pushed the right buttons for me, what makes me tick.
Ah fuck it!! I'm gonna be a slut tomorrow night. It's been over a week since I last got dicked and I am kinda gagging for it. Abstinence was part of the game, not by my choice. If you know where to look, you know where you'll find me...
Monday, March 14, 2005
Technical Problems
Well I'm ready to publish my new chart data. Pity the server it lives on has fallen over.
At The Clinic
Yes, today I was seen by the Senior Consultant. Margaret, my usual doctor, was busy with another patient. I could have waited, but I was already late for getting back to work and wanted the results. Other thing is that my appointments with Margaret are going to stop shortly as she's going on Maternity Leave. Going to miss her while she's away. To me its important to feel comfortable with the people who deal with my HIV. Its a trust and familiarity thing more than anything else. I take my car to one garage because I trust the mechanics. I get pierced by Carl because I trust his judgement (as well as finding him extremely hot! *shlurp*). Apparently she will be coming back but I want to wish her well before she goes.
But that's by-the-by. I was shown something I'd not seen before. It was a graph of common trends for CD4 and VL. I'm not going to talk Viral Load here because my VL charts don't resemble this common trend at all. But my CD4 does.
According to this chart, the CD4 will plummet, then slowly rise before levelling off. This 'stabelised' period eventually falls into a gradual decline (which may last years) before a sudden drop again. Todays Doctor considered that my trend shows that I'm approaching this 'stabelising' phase, that my body has worked hard to try and even the balance of things. '...so whatever we're doing is working! What are we doing?' he asked me. 'Erm, nothing, well nothing consistently.' I replied. I'll admit to feeling pretty lousy, and 'viral' over the past fortnight or so and was expecting bad results especially with my VL last time being so high (ok, so it's only high to me 'cos I don't really know what the fuck those numbers really mean).
I remember Margaret saying ages ago that with the monitoring we're looking for a pattern. The patterns and trends show how I'm doing, in addition to the actual numbers. I think I've spotted a pattern with the VL but it will take another two samples (by end of Summer) to confirm this. But maybe also it's too early to make judgements on these figures. I'm thinking that the trend is two or three low VL scores and then a spike. If I'm right then I wont be panicking at the end of the Summer. It's just the waiting game between the result sets.
But that's by-the-by. I was shown something I'd not seen before. It was a graph of common trends for CD4 and VL. I'm not going to talk Viral Load here because my VL charts don't resemble this common trend at all. But my CD4 does.
According to this chart, the CD4 will plummet, then slowly rise before levelling off. This 'stabelised' period eventually falls into a gradual decline (which may last years) before a sudden drop again. Todays Doctor considered that my trend shows that I'm approaching this 'stabelising' phase, that my body has worked hard to try and even the balance of things. '...so whatever we're doing is working! What are we doing?' he asked me. 'Erm, nothing, well nothing consistently.' I replied. I'll admit to feeling pretty lousy, and 'viral' over the past fortnight or so and was expecting bad results especially with my VL last time being so high (ok, so it's only high to me 'cos I don't really know what the fuck those numbers really mean).
I remember Margaret saying ages ago that with the monitoring we're looking for a pattern. The patterns and trends show how I'm doing, in addition to the actual numbers. I think I've spotted a pattern with the VL but it will take another two samples (by end of Summer) to confirm this. But maybe also it's too early to make judgements on these figures. I'm thinking that the trend is two or three low VL scores and then a spike. If I'm right then I wont be panicking at the end of the Summer. It's just the waiting game between the result sets.
By The Numbers
This is a bit of a rushed post. May edit it later but wanted to get this down now.
Been to the clinic this morning. Waited an hour but eventually got seen. It's results day, so I was bricking it again. You know I'm always anxious on results day.
So, the numbers:
CD4: 405
VL : 20200
And nothing else in the blood works out of the ordinary. Everything fine.
On a bit of a high with it. This, and something I'll write about later that may cause some shock, have made me very very happy. No bastard better bring me down today or I will go on the war-path (and that is not a pleasant sight).
I'll update the charts later. Just done it, thought I'd uploaded everything, but went to look and saw that I'd replaced my local files with those from the server. What a dumb-fuck!! Tee he hee.
Been to the clinic this morning. Waited an hour but eventually got seen. It's results day, so I was bricking it again. You know I'm always anxious on results day.
So, the numbers:
CD4: 405
VL : 20200
And nothing else in the blood works out of the ordinary. Everything fine.
On a bit of a high with it. This, and something I'll write about later that may cause some shock, have made me very very happy. No bastard better bring me down today or I will go on the war-path (and that is not a pleasant sight).
I'll update the charts later. Just done it, thought I'd uploaded everything, but went to look and saw that I'd replaced my local files with those from the server. What a dumb-fuck!! Tee he hee.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Strike Three!?!
Take your pick on this one...
Kyle's in France. End of his first week out of three. I get a phone call from Kath, Marts flatmate, asking for one of Kyle's ex's mobile numbers as she got a call from Kyle saying he'd been mugged in France. Mobile gone, cash gone, and he's been roughed up a bit. He phoned me a little later on himself, from the Police station. He's ok, but badly shaken. I want to go over there and 'do the Mother thing' but I can't afford it and I can't remember where I've put my passport. I'll get to know more later, I'm sure.
I've been over to see Mum for breakfast. We've just started the car to go do some shopping when her mobile goes off. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Now there are reasons why I can't say too much about this one (aside from the fact that Mum couldn't tell me the full story and my niece was with us). Seems like a cousin of mine has been arrested for drug running. There are other things that have come out about his past, some very bad shit that I can personally associate with. This goes to court sometime over the next fortnight.
Kyle's in France. End of his first week out of three. I get a phone call from Kath, Marts flatmate, asking for one of Kyle's ex's mobile numbers as she got a call from Kyle saying he'd been mugged in France. Mobile gone, cash gone, and he's been roughed up a bit. He phoned me a little later on himself, from the Police station. He's ok, but badly shaken. I want to go over there and 'do the Mother thing' but I can't afford it and I can't remember where I've put my passport. I'll get to know more later, I'm sure.
I've been over to see Mum for breakfast. We've just started the car to go do some shopping when her mobile goes off. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Now there are reasons why I can't say too much about this one (aside from the fact that Mum couldn't tell me the full story and my niece was with us). Seems like a cousin of mine has been arrested for drug running. There are other things that have come out about his past, some very bad shit that I can personally associate with. This goes to court sometime over the next fortnight.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
A List Of Naughty Words
Came across this article about words that are alleged to be banned from appearing on the back of personalised NFL tops.
So I'm OK. I can be either a 'cockjockey' and possibly a 'cock jockey'. However, some 'tops' out there might find that your favourite self-reference is listed, and hence barred. Non-listed are 'shit stabber', and 'fudge packer', though the plural of 'fudge packer' is listed. Hmm. Are they trying to say something?
Interesting, though, is that I could be a 'rent boy', or an 'escort', but I can't be a 'whore', a 'hooker', or a 'prostitute'.
Oh, how I love the English language. So many different terms for the same thing. Now I know I should know this one, but what the fuck is 'hersheyhighway'? Or can someone convince me that I really don't want to know?
So I'm OK. I can be either a 'cockjockey' and possibly a 'cock jockey'. However, some 'tops' out there might find that your favourite self-reference is listed, and hence barred. Non-listed are 'shit stabber', and 'fudge packer', though the plural of 'fudge packer' is listed. Hmm. Are they trying to say something?
Interesting, though, is that I could be a 'rent boy', or an 'escort', but I can't be a 'whore', a 'hooker', or a 'prostitute'.
Oh, how I love the English language. So many different terms for the same thing. Now I know I should know this one, but what the fuck is 'hersheyhighway'? Or can someone convince me that I really don't want to know?
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Ride Me Punani U Sexy Fukka
I've got a new friend, an online friend. We've known each other about a month or so now. We're getting to know each other really well and really fast. I like him a lot, and I know he feels the same way. We've spoken about all sorts. Our first conversation lasted about five hours! He's in a relationship, boyfriend who's a bit possessive I think, but my friend is happy with him. He's in London, and I'm up here in Manchester.
I think I'm falling in love with him. Sounds wierd? Certainly a strange concept to fall for someone I've only met in a virtual way. It is for me anyway. And if you count c2c as valid, then yes we have had sex. Twice!
Gotta be honest and say that webcam-sex doesn't cut it with me. I need the physical thing. Doing it virtually doesn't push all the right buttons with me. Apart from with him. We've been using MSN Messenger and when he turns his camera off it's like: 'come back! I'm missing you!!'
There's no immediate plans for us to meet, though we both know that we will at some point. Meeting is tricky cos of his life/work situation down there and mine up here. As he said today, he can't really talk to his boyfriend about me: '...yeah, met him online, and we're gonna fuck like bunnies one day.' There was one occasion that I was quite touched by. He told me he was going to tell me something and hoped I wouldn't be cross with him. It was then he told me he had to dash as he was going to see his boyfriend. I'd kinda mis-read what was going on originally as we'd been talking about cunty ex's and thought he meant going to see his ex. I told him I wasn't cross. How can I be? After all we all have a life away from the glowing box.
He gave me a telephone number tonight. And then a few moments later said that he wanted me to ring, but didn't want me to ring. I actually wanted to ring, but I have a cordless phone and the battery had died on a call earlier on so it needed charging. I was frustrated cos I couldn't ring! I've been told to keep the number safe. I will.
I want to get to know him more, and I will. Obviously there's lots I don't know about him, and likewise there are things he doesn't know about me. Something has just 'clicked' between us. I can't help it if I want him to ride my punani half-way across the country and back - and thank you Mart for driving that word into my vocabulary!
He knows I want him. And I know he wants me.
I think I'm falling in love with him. Sounds wierd? Certainly a strange concept to fall for someone I've only met in a virtual way. It is for me anyway. And if you count c2c as valid, then yes we have had sex. Twice!
Gotta be honest and say that webcam-sex doesn't cut it with me. I need the physical thing. Doing it virtually doesn't push all the right buttons with me. Apart from with him. We've been using MSN Messenger and when he turns his camera off it's like: 'come back! I'm missing you!!'
There's no immediate plans for us to meet, though we both know that we will at some point. Meeting is tricky cos of his life/work situation down there and mine up here. As he said today, he can't really talk to his boyfriend about me: '...yeah, met him online, and we're gonna fuck like bunnies one day.' There was one occasion that I was quite touched by. He told me he was going to tell me something and hoped I wouldn't be cross with him. It was then he told me he had to dash as he was going to see his boyfriend. I'd kinda mis-read what was going on originally as we'd been talking about cunty ex's and thought he meant going to see his ex. I told him I wasn't cross. How can I be? After all we all have a life away from the glowing box.
He gave me a telephone number tonight. And then a few moments later said that he wanted me to ring, but didn't want me to ring. I actually wanted to ring, but I have a cordless phone and the battery had died on a call earlier on so it needed charging. I was frustrated cos I couldn't ring! I've been told to keep the number safe. I will.
I want to get to know him more, and I will. Obviously there's lots I don't know about him, and likewise there are things he doesn't know about me. Something has just 'clicked' between us. I can't help it if I want him to ride my punani half-way across the country and back - and thank you Mart for driving that word into my vocabulary!
He knows I want him. And I know he wants me.
If Things Happen In Threes...
...what's gonna happen next?
First I manage to bend the heavy duty plastic thing that is my enlarging crescent. Yes, I have managed to bend it. Obviously vaseline and my cock head are quite a powerful force.
Then I manage to kill off my kettle. Really don't know how I've managed this. It's a cordless jobbie from ASDA I bought about three years ago so it's had a fair run. I say it's dead, but others might claim its only in a coma: the lights come on but its useless from the power switch down.
Answers on an e-Postcard. You know the address.
First I manage to bend the heavy duty plastic thing that is my enlarging crescent. Yes, I have managed to bend it. Obviously vaseline and my cock head are quite a powerful force.
Then I manage to kill off my kettle. Really don't know how I've managed this. It's a cordless jobbie from ASDA I bought about three years ago so it's had a fair run. I say it's dead, but others might claim its only in a coma: the lights come on but its useless from the power switch down.
Answers on an e-Postcard. You know the address.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Sharing Good News
Now I know this isn't really my news, but I'm going to share it anyway 'cos it really made me happy when I heard it. It relates to someone that I've known as long as I've known Ben, in fact I met him through Ben. He told me on Saturday:
'I no longer have AIDS...'
I started thinking OMG. This is either a medical fuck-up or this guy has got the miracle cure.
'... I'm now HIV+!'
He's not been well for a very long time and he's had a really shitty time over the past few months. Without going into details his ex-boyfriend is a cunt. There is more I could say here about him, but frankly I don't see why I should waste my time typing and your reading time on the twat. Thankfully they are no longer together, which is probably a major contributory factor to his upturn in health.
'So I've got some t-cells going spare. You don't know anyone who wants to buy them? I could always get Ben to put them on eBay!'
He's a real character, the kind of dry sense of humour I adore, is so open-hearted, and has declared that I've got the cutest little boy-tits in Manchester.
'I no longer have AIDS...'
I started thinking OMG. This is either a medical fuck-up or this guy has got the miracle cure.
'... I'm now HIV+!'
He's not been well for a very long time and he's had a really shitty time over the past few months. Without going into details his ex-boyfriend is a cunt. There is more I could say here about him, but frankly I don't see why I should waste my time typing and your reading time on the twat. Thankfully they are no longer together, which is probably a major contributory factor to his upturn in health.
'So I've got some t-cells going spare. You don't know anyone who wants to buy them? I could always get Ben to put them on eBay!'
He's a real character, the kind of dry sense of humour I adore, is so open-hearted, and has declared that I've got the cutest little boy-tits in Manchester.
Slut Time Again
Now this is bad. I had an early start to the day today. It was planned as a day of wall-to-wall meetings with travelling in between them. So what did I do before I left home? I went on to Gaydar.
I've been chatting and messaging with two lads who are quite hunky and actually pretty fit. Both are keen to 'do me'. I didn't know at the time but it transpires that they are both in a three-way relationship with another completly hot hunk of man-meat. One of the two I've been chatting with approaches me this morning. In the space of 10 minutes we set the seeds of an idea for the four of us to get it together. And soon.
Nothing concrete planned, yet, but I'm looking forward to it. It's no secret that I like group sex. Some may call it greed, I just call it fun. Watch this space.
I've been chatting and messaging with two lads who are quite hunky and actually pretty fit. Both are keen to 'do me'. I didn't know at the time but it transpires that they are both in a three-way relationship with another completly hot hunk of man-meat. One of the two I've been chatting with approaches me this morning. In the space of 10 minutes we set the seeds of an idea for the four of us to get it together. And soon.
Nothing concrete planned, yet, but I'm looking forward to it. It's no secret that I like group sex. Some may call it greed, I just call it fun. Watch this space.
Tools Of The Trade
He hee. You're gonna like this one.
I've made a discovery. Little bit of a blunder. I've found out I wasn't pierced at 2.4mm. How've I made this discovery? Well I went to buy a 2.4 x 17mm ring on Saturday. I saw the lad measure it so I know the dimensions are accurate. And ok, it's actually 16.5mm but I'm not gonna grumble. When I looked at it in the bag I thought that it seemed thicker than the one I was wearing. So later on on Saturday I took my ring out and compared. Yes, there is a difference, not much, but one is definately thicker than the other. I can only assume that my original ring is a 2mm - the difference is so slight and even Carl told me it was a 2.4mm when he looked at it.
So why have I changed to a smaller diameter? Well, despite not being able to get my 3.2mm in the work with the enlarging crescent so far has worked. How do I know this? Cos my first ring is a hell of a lot slacker and, at times, now a bit uncomfortable. So a smaller diameter should 'hug' me a little better. That's the theory.
Now for the tricky bit. Inserting the new ring. Well I've had lots of practice taking out my original ring, and getting the ball out of the 3.2mm. Taking out the original ring is a piece of piss: pop the ball out, rotate the ring, then slide it off. Fitting the new one should be a reversal.
But I should have realised I was gonna hit a snag when I had difficulty getting the ball out of the new ring. Fitting the new ring to my body was no problem - my hole is ready for the 2.4mm. But could I get the ball in? Could I fuck. I spent about an hour trying. It was more frustrating than not being able to get my 3.2mm through. So I gave up and re-fitted my old ring. Thing is I have no problems popping the ball in and out of the 3.2mm. Ok, so maybe attaching it to my body makes a difference? Nope, when I tried to put the 2.4x17mm back together I couldn't! Bollocks.
A quick web search told me that proper piercers have access to two kinds of pliers: ring opening and ring closing pliers. I remembered Carl using the ring opening pliers to insert the ball into my nipple ring. So where do I get ring opening pliers from? Well, he hee. I didn't! I went to Maplin and got some circlip pliers! Basically all I needed was something to pry the ring open slightly so I could fit the ball in place.
Now yes, at some point I may get the proper tools. They're actually not that expensive (we're talking around £15) and are more of a necessity if I choose to go to large gauge rings. I could snap the arms of the circlip pliers with the additional force needed for the thicker metal and that could be dangerous. But considering I paid £5 for my set I'm pretty pleased. My aim for down there is to stop at 4mm, I don't think I'll look right with anything thicker. And to be honest these pliers should be fine even for that gauge.
Easy peasy with the right tools!
I've made a discovery. Little bit of a blunder. I've found out I wasn't pierced at 2.4mm. How've I made this discovery? Well I went to buy a 2.4 x 17mm ring on Saturday. I saw the lad measure it so I know the dimensions are accurate. And ok, it's actually 16.5mm but I'm not gonna grumble. When I looked at it in the bag I thought that it seemed thicker than the one I was wearing. So later on on Saturday I took my ring out and compared. Yes, there is a difference, not much, but one is definately thicker than the other. I can only assume that my original ring is a 2mm - the difference is so slight and even Carl told me it was a 2.4mm when he looked at it.
So why have I changed to a smaller diameter? Well, despite not being able to get my 3.2mm in the work with the enlarging crescent so far has worked. How do I know this? Cos my first ring is a hell of a lot slacker and, at times, now a bit uncomfortable. So a smaller diameter should 'hug' me a little better. That's the theory.
Now for the tricky bit. Inserting the new ring. Well I've had lots of practice taking out my original ring, and getting the ball out of the 3.2mm. Taking out the original ring is a piece of piss: pop the ball out, rotate the ring, then slide it off. Fitting the new one should be a reversal.
But I should have realised I was gonna hit a snag when I had difficulty getting the ball out of the new ring. Fitting the new ring to my body was no problem - my hole is ready for the 2.4mm. But could I get the ball in? Could I fuck. I spent about an hour trying. It was more frustrating than not being able to get my 3.2mm through. So I gave up and re-fitted my old ring. Thing is I have no problems popping the ball in and out of the 3.2mm. Ok, so maybe attaching it to my body makes a difference? Nope, when I tried to put the 2.4x17mm back together I couldn't! Bollocks.
A quick web search told me that proper piercers have access to two kinds of pliers: ring opening and ring closing pliers. I remembered Carl using the ring opening pliers to insert the ball into my nipple ring. So where do I get ring opening pliers from? Well, he hee. I didn't! I went to Maplin and got some circlip pliers! Basically all I needed was something to pry the ring open slightly so I could fit the ball in place.
Now yes, at some point I may get the proper tools. They're actually not that expensive (we're talking around £15) and are more of a necessity if I choose to go to large gauge rings. I could snap the arms of the circlip pliers with the additional force needed for the thicker metal and that could be dangerous. But considering I paid £5 for my set I'm pretty pleased. My aim for down there is to stop at 4mm, I don't think I'll look right with anything thicker. And to be honest these pliers should be fine even for that gauge.
Easy peasy with the right tools!
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Bored
So I finished up work on Friday and was sat wondering what to do for the rest of the evening. I'd been thinking about Ben earlier in the day and thinking about how nice it would be to have him inside me again (**sigh!!**) so admittedly I was a tad on the horny side. I didn't fancy going out looking for cock as my face it still a mess (although no one has commented, so maybe it's just me) plus I'm trying (read that as failing miserably) to keep some money back for next month. I could've rung Ant, but frankly couldn't be arsed with him. In the end I settled for a session with the enlarging crescent, half a spliff, and surfing the Internet. Sounded like a good plan to me.
5.45pm and the phone goes. Bear in mind I've got one hand coated in lube (from the crescent) and the other is operating the computer (left-handed, I haven't quite lost the knack), I'm stark bollock naked and knealing on my bench in front of the computer. I half wasn't going to answer, but decided I would. After nearly falling on the floor to get to the phone I take the call. It was Ben. He was bored, doing nothing, and wondered what I was up to. I told him I'd got nothing planned so he suggested going out for a drink. I remembered my thoughts earlier in the day and told him I'd got a bit of money so why not. We agreed to meet between 7.30 and 8pm.
I don't have a clue about what I'm going to wear as I haven't done any serious washing for about a fortnight. Again, I don't have a bedroom, it's more like a walk-in laundry basket. So I spend about 20 minutes looking for something to wear. It's Friday night, its freezing out there and I make the descision that I'm not going to go out with a jacket. Hindsight tells me that's not a good idea, but it was reasonable at the time. I'm not going to look anything special, I don't exactly feel special. I'll just 'do'.
Then the usual routine in the bathroom for shaving etc. Turn on the tap. A couple of splatters of hot water then it runs cold. Fantastic. Looks like my boilers as similar memory problems to me. I now realise that I'm cold, as well as the house being cold. So, still naked and now shivering I run downstairs to try and fire up the boiler. It's gonna take at least a half-hour to get enough water for the bath.
Anyway, long story short. I'm ready and manage to get myself into town bang on 7.30. You see, I can do 'on time' when I set my mind to it, even when everything else is fucking up left, right and centre. So I gets myself a drink and prop up the bar while waiting for Ben. And I wait, and I wait. After about 10 minutes I spot someone coming in who I think is Ben. I'm about to go an greet him, then I realise that it isn't Ben at all. I start thinking to myself that this is just typical. I'm usually late, so Ben is getting own back by being later than I usually would!
And then, 5 minutes later, I see a face in the corner. It spots me. It's Ben. I go over. He asks me how long I've been there and laughs at me when I tell him what I'd just been thinking. I never thought to look over there. We gets to talking and it turns out that Ben is 'detoxing'. In his own words: 'I haven't had a solid shit in 12 months and I've constantly got the taste of drugs in my mouth. It knocks me sick.' I laugh, and ask him whether he can be persuaded otherwise. He asks me whether that's because I've been munching on substances. I hadn't, and told him that it was fine to give it a break from time to time. Yes, I admit to liking my drugs, perhaps a little too much at times, but I do agree that a break every now and then is good for you. So tonight we were just going to do alcohol. It's been a long time since Ben and I just did alcohol.
I'd actually forgotten just how intelligent Ben was and we had a really good conversation. Can't remember what it was about, and we were both far from being pissed at the time. I finished my drink and went to the bar to get us both another. While I was at the bar I spotted Mart and Kyle, but they didn't see me. I got served, took the drinks back to Ben and said I'd be back in a moment. I went up behind Mart and Kyle, slapped both of their arses and said 'and what are you pair doing here?' in my best stern voice. They both jumped, realised it was me and threw their arms around me. 'You didn't tell us you were coming out,' Kyle started, 'but then, we didn't tell you we were either!' he continued. I told them I was out with Ben, Mart gave me that knowing glance that he knew what was going on. I didn't correct him. I went back to Ben grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
Ben started talking to me, and then Kyle flurries over and natters away at me for a few minutes then disappears. 'What was that?' Ben asks. I explain that Kyle is in 'I want a boyfriend'-mode, again. 'But where does the army outfit fit in?' he looked quizzicle. 'Don't ask me, I'm just the Mother, what do I know!' Somehow, we managed to pick up where we left off.
Ben spotted a table so we decided to move to it. It was in direct line of sight to Mart and Kyle. 'Who the fuck is that with Mart?' Ben cried out. He was referring to Marts new boyfriend. 'He's a fucking psycho! Look at him!!' I laughed. 'He's harmless,' I replied, 'he gets drunk, he dances, and that's it. He's alright.' Then Ben spotted two of his friends and they came over to join us. One I'd met last summer, the other I'd seen on Gaydar and his profile scares me.
The four of us are talking away and laughing and then I spot Mart and Kyle stood side be side looking at me. I look away and rejoin my conversation but when I look up they're still there, looking. 'Oh no,' I start, 'they're plotting something, and I don't know what it is.' 'Tell them to fuck off, you know I will if you don't' Ben comments. One of the friends asks who's plotting so I explain about my daughters. I slap the back of one of my wrists and state 'It's my night off. I am not playing mother tonight.' Then, out of the blue, Mart flies over with a glass in his hand. Plonks it on the table in front of me, kisses me on the cheek and says 'happy mothers day. That's from all of us.'. I'm touched. Very touched by it and put my arm round him and kiss him back. Ben's friends are completely confused by the situation. Ben just looks on shaking his head. Mart always remembers Mothers Day, unlike me!
One of Bens friends is completely aghast at Ben being out and being drug free, and claims that he's got four pills from last summer back at home. Somehow, he manages to convince Ben that he should get them and meet us somewhere else a little later on. Ben agrees! They depart. We finish our drinks and move on to the meeting place. However, it transpires that the friends with the drugs don't turn up. Ben starts cursing at them. He was so adamant that he was going clean for a while that I find this quite funny.
We're bored and decide to finish our drinks and go back to Ben's to get something to eat, get some cans along the way and chill out to a video. So we arrive back at the flat, Ben puts two meals in the microwave, we eat and start on some cans of beer we got on the way back. We sit down to watch a video, some Jackie Chan thing. It was quite funny, although I can't remember what the story was about at all. Part way through Ben goes to the loo.
About 10 minutes later he's still not back. Now if we'd been on pills I wouldn't have bothered. That kind of thing usually happens! So I go to see if he's ok. He's not in the bathroom so I try the bedroom. Yep. He's there. Crashed out, dead to the world!
Ah well, bang goes my shag for the night. Never mind, there's always another time and I can't complain really. I remember how alcohol affected me the first time I went out and only drank after doing a number of drug-centred sessions. Pissed? It don't even scratch the surface.
5.45pm and the phone goes. Bear in mind I've got one hand coated in lube (from the crescent) and the other is operating the computer (left-handed, I haven't quite lost the knack), I'm stark bollock naked and knealing on my bench in front of the computer. I half wasn't going to answer, but decided I would. After nearly falling on the floor to get to the phone I take the call. It was Ben. He was bored, doing nothing, and wondered what I was up to. I told him I'd got nothing planned so he suggested going out for a drink. I remembered my thoughts earlier in the day and told him I'd got a bit of money so why not. We agreed to meet between 7.30 and 8pm.
I don't have a clue about what I'm going to wear as I haven't done any serious washing for about a fortnight. Again, I don't have a bedroom, it's more like a walk-in laundry basket. So I spend about 20 minutes looking for something to wear. It's Friday night, its freezing out there and I make the descision that I'm not going to go out with a jacket. Hindsight tells me that's not a good idea, but it was reasonable at the time. I'm not going to look anything special, I don't exactly feel special. I'll just 'do'.
Then the usual routine in the bathroom for shaving etc. Turn on the tap. A couple of splatters of hot water then it runs cold. Fantastic. Looks like my boilers as similar memory problems to me. I now realise that I'm cold, as well as the house being cold. So, still naked and now shivering I run downstairs to try and fire up the boiler. It's gonna take at least a half-hour to get enough water for the bath.
Anyway, long story short. I'm ready and manage to get myself into town bang on 7.30. You see, I can do 'on time' when I set my mind to it, even when everything else is fucking up left, right and centre. So I gets myself a drink and prop up the bar while waiting for Ben. And I wait, and I wait. After about 10 minutes I spot someone coming in who I think is Ben. I'm about to go an greet him, then I realise that it isn't Ben at all. I start thinking to myself that this is just typical. I'm usually late, so Ben is getting own back by being later than I usually would!
And then, 5 minutes later, I see a face in the corner. It spots me. It's Ben. I go over. He asks me how long I've been there and laughs at me when I tell him what I'd just been thinking. I never thought to look over there. We gets to talking and it turns out that Ben is 'detoxing'. In his own words: 'I haven't had a solid shit in 12 months and I've constantly got the taste of drugs in my mouth. It knocks me sick.' I laugh, and ask him whether he can be persuaded otherwise. He asks me whether that's because I've been munching on substances. I hadn't, and told him that it was fine to give it a break from time to time. Yes, I admit to liking my drugs, perhaps a little too much at times, but I do agree that a break every now and then is good for you. So tonight we were just going to do alcohol. It's been a long time since Ben and I just did alcohol.
I'd actually forgotten just how intelligent Ben was and we had a really good conversation. Can't remember what it was about, and we were both far from being pissed at the time. I finished my drink and went to the bar to get us both another. While I was at the bar I spotted Mart and Kyle, but they didn't see me. I got served, took the drinks back to Ben and said I'd be back in a moment. I went up behind Mart and Kyle, slapped both of their arses and said 'and what are you pair doing here?' in my best stern voice. They both jumped, realised it was me and threw their arms around me. 'You didn't tell us you were coming out,' Kyle started, 'but then, we didn't tell you we were either!' he continued. I told them I was out with Ben, Mart gave me that knowing glance that he knew what was going on. I didn't correct him. I went back to Ben grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
Ben started talking to me, and then Kyle flurries over and natters away at me for a few minutes then disappears. 'What was that?' Ben asks. I explain that Kyle is in 'I want a boyfriend'-mode, again. 'But where does the army outfit fit in?' he looked quizzicle. 'Don't ask me, I'm just the Mother, what do I know!' Somehow, we managed to pick up where we left off.
Ben spotted a table so we decided to move to it. It was in direct line of sight to Mart and Kyle. 'Who the fuck is that with Mart?' Ben cried out. He was referring to Marts new boyfriend. 'He's a fucking psycho! Look at him!!' I laughed. 'He's harmless,' I replied, 'he gets drunk, he dances, and that's it. He's alright.' Then Ben spotted two of his friends and they came over to join us. One I'd met last summer, the other I'd seen on Gaydar and his profile scares me.
The four of us are talking away and laughing and then I spot Mart and Kyle stood side be side looking at me. I look away and rejoin my conversation but when I look up they're still there, looking. 'Oh no,' I start, 'they're plotting something, and I don't know what it is.' 'Tell them to fuck off, you know I will if you don't' Ben comments. One of the friends asks who's plotting so I explain about my daughters. I slap the back of one of my wrists and state 'It's my night off. I am not playing mother tonight.' Then, out of the blue, Mart flies over with a glass in his hand. Plonks it on the table in front of me, kisses me on the cheek and says 'happy mothers day. That's from all of us.'. I'm touched. Very touched by it and put my arm round him and kiss him back. Ben's friends are completely confused by the situation. Ben just looks on shaking his head. Mart always remembers Mothers Day, unlike me!
One of Bens friends is completely aghast at Ben being out and being drug free, and claims that he's got four pills from last summer back at home. Somehow, he manages to convince Ben that he should get them and meet us somewhere else a little later on. Ben agrees! They depart. We finish our drinks and move on to the meeting place. However, it transpires that the friends with the drugs don't turn up. Ben starts cursing at them. He was so adamant that he was going clean for a while that I find this quite funny.
We're bored and decide to finish our drinks and go back to Ben's to get something to eat, get some cans along the way and chill out to a video. So we arrive back at the flat, Ben puts two meals in the microwave, we eat and start on some cans of beer we got on the way back. We sit down to watch a video, some Jackie Chan thing. It was quite funny, although I can't remember what the story was about at all. Part way through Ben goes to the loo.
About 10 minutes later he's still not back. Now if we'd been on pills I wouldn't have bothered. That kind of thing usually happens! So I go to see if he's ok. He's not in the bathroom so I try the bedroom. Yep. He's there. Crashed out, dead to the world!
Ah well, bang goes my shag for the night. Never mind, there's always another time and I can't complain really. I remember how alcohol affected me the first time I went out and only drank after doing a number of drug-centred sessions. Pissed? It don't even scratch the surface.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
An Artists' Impression
As promised in Stretch Number One, I've brushed the dust off my Photoshop installation and prepared an artists impression of the new ring.
... and this is the original picture with the 2.4x19mm ring
Can you spot the difference? Nah, me neither. So we're all gonna have to wait and see what the finished article looks like. Bugger!!
... and this is the original picture with the 2.4x19mm ring
Can you spot the difference? Nah, me neither. So we're all gonna have to wait and see what the finished article looks like. Bugger!!
Just Remembered From The Weekend
We went out on Saturday night Kyle, Mart and myself. Spent most of the afternoon there and we all got ready together.
While we were getting ready I showed Mart and Kyle the picture of the enlarging crescent sticking out of the underside of my dick.
Mart went very very pale and changed the subject very very quickly.
Kyle thought I was going to be wearing it to go out that night.
While we were getting ready I showed Mart and Kyle the picture of the enlarging crescent sticking out of the underside of my dick.
Mart went very very pale and changed the subject very very quickly.
Kyle thought I was going to be wearing it to go out that night.
Whoops!
Oops! I think I've twisted my enlarging crescent. I used it last night (while watching TV) and noticed that the thin end seemed to point to one side.
But how the fuck can you bend something made of plastic?
But then it could just be me, I was slightly stoned.
But how the fuck can you bend something made of plastic?
But then it could just be me, I was slightly stoned.
Time For A Quick Anatomy Lesson
I always enjoyed science at school. But biology was never my strong point (I took Physics and Chemistry). Obviously I've picked up on a couple of the finer points of human anatomy over the years, but todays revellation is interesting even to me.
I've been to the clinic today for two things: counselling session and also to have another ride with the freeze-gun. Last weeks session with the gun has had no effect. Nothing. Na- Da!! So we're trying something different. Bear in mind that although we've been at the little blighters for two months now they can be stubborn. Just like me! I guess my facial warts just aren't scared of guns anymore. Now that's a Manchester up-bringing for you.
In the UK there are no medications licensed to use on warts on the face. Anywhere else on my body and it wouldn't have been a problem. So we're going to try using something with the brand name Aldara. It's a product designed for genital warts. Somewhat worrying is the fact that the outer box is all written in Greek. Fortunately the cream has been re-packaged and the Instruction Leaflet is written in English. There is more about Aldara here and this is very interesting. Apparently, facial skin is not that dissimilar to the skin of the genitals. Reading through the information from the links it appears that it is safe to put on the face even though not expressly designed for warts in that location. The information leaflet claims that the medicine is not so effective for people who are HIV+ and yet my doctor claims to have used it pretty successfully in the past. Just goes to show you.
Now here's the fun bit with Aldara. It's applied three times a week just before bed and then washed off in the morning. So you apply it Monday, Wednesday and Friday, or Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday must also be a pharmaceutical day of rest. I never knew that.
My other take-away was for the bacterial skin infection. Even though Savlon appears to be working, albeit slowly, a little agressive shunt probably wont do me any harm. And for this I'm using Fucidin. Its an antibacterial cream that I have to apply three times a day. I'm just hoping that there's not going to be any interactions between the two lotions. No, the thoughts that just popped into my head on that one are not going to be repeated. There's more about Fucidin here and here.
I've been to the clinic today for two things: counselling session and also to have another ride with the freeze-gun. Last weeks session with the gun has had no effect. Nothing. Na- Da!! So we're trying something different. Bear in mind that although we've been at the little blighters for two months now they can be stubborn. Just like me! I guess my facial warts just aren't scared of guns anymore. Now that's a Manchester up-bringing for you.
In the UK there are no medications licensed to use on warts on the face. Anywhere else on my body and it wouldn't have been a problem. So we're going to try using something with the brand name Aldara. It's a product designed for genital warts. Somewhat worrying is the fact that the outer box is all written in Greek. Fortunately the cream has been re-packaged and the Instruction Leaflet is written in English. There is more about Aldara here and this is very interesting. Apparently, facial skin is not that dissimilar to the skin of the genitals. Reading through the information from the links it appears that it is safe to put on the face even though not expressly designed for warts in that location. The information leaflet claims that the medicine is not so effective for people who are HIV+ and yet my doctor claims to have used it pretty successfully in the past. Just goes to show you.
Now here's the fun bit with Aldara. It's applied three times a week just before bed and then washed off in the morning. So you apply it Monday, Wednesday and Friday, or Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday must also be a pharmaceutical day of rest. I never knew that.
My other take-away was for the bacterial skin infection. Even though Savlon appears to be working, albeit slowly, a little agressive shunt probably wont do me any harm. And for this I'm using Fucidin. Its an antibacterial cream that I have to apply three times a day. I'm just hoping that there's not going to be any interactions between the two lotions. No, the thoughts that just popped into my head on that one are not going to be repeated. There's more about Fucidin here and here.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
I'm Getting A Lodger
I haven't had anyone living with me on a permanent basis since last summer when circumstances meant that I had Scott here. Before Scott, I didn't want anyone living here. It wasn't so much I didn't want anyone violating my personal space, more that I just couldn't be doing with having to tip-toe around anyone else. That said, I enjoyed having Scott here and really did miss him when he went.
Things are getting problematic between Mart and Kath. Nothing serious. But they both feel their rent is too high where they are and are planning on moving. But Kath is getting on Marts nerves and he doesn't really want to move with Kath. So, Mart and Kyle have devised a plan: Mart is going to move out and spend part of the week living with me, and the other part of the week living with Kyle. Kyle only has a one bedroom flat at the moment, but he is after getting a two bedroomed place for both of them.
Mart and I jokingly spoke about him moving in with me ages ago when he was having severe financial problems. He knows he's always welcome here. The room he sleeps in when he stays he's always refered to as 'his room'. And the conversations did not rule out the possibility of us sleeping together, just not every night.
Now this appears to be more of an iminent reality than hypothesis. And no, I'm not planning on bonking him everynight when he's here! True, it would be nice but there are factors to consider: Mart currently has a boyfriend (don't know what's happening with that one just yet); and the fact that we don't always sleep together makes it special when we do. For the record, it's been a long time since we last did.
It's only a temporary arrangement and that works for me, at the moment. I am looking forward to it. I'm thinking that it will help me a lot. For one thing, it will get me cooking. Aside from the company, cooking for someone else was something I missed after Scott.
Ahh, my little baby's coming home.
Things are getting problematic between Mart and Kath. Nothing serious. But they both feel their rent is too high where they are and are planning on moving. But Kath is getting on Marts nerves and he doesn't really want to move with Kath. So, Mart and Kyle have devised a plan: Mart is going to move out and spend part of the week living with me, and the other part of the week living with Kyle. Kyle only has a one bedroom flat at the moment, but he is after getting a two bedroomed place for both of them.
Mart and I jokingly spoke about him moving in with me ages ago when he was having severe financial problems. He knows he's always welcome here. The room he sleeps in when he stays he's always refered to as 'his room'. And the conversations did not rule out the possibility of us sleeping together, just not every night.
Now this appears to be more of an iminent reality than hypothesis. And no, I'm not planning on bonking him everynight when he's here! True, it would be nice but there are factors to consider: Mart currently has a boyfriend (don't know what's happening with that one just yet); and the fact that we don't always sleep together makes it special when we do. For the record, it's been a long time since we last did.
It's only a temporary arrangement and that works for me, at the moment. I am looking forward to it. I'm thinking that it will help me a lot. For one thing, it will get me cooking. Aside from the company, cooking for someone else was something I missed after Scott.
Ahh, my little baby's coming home.
Thanks Guys
Just wanted to say thanks for some of the comments and messages I've received since my last post. To update, I'm still not 'right', but I'm getting there. I am feeling stronger in myself, for most of the time. It's starting to feel nice to be me again. Does that really sound as strange as it does to me?
Though I do have at least one medical problems that is seriously pissing me off at the moment. I managed to cut myself shaving sometime last year. I'm hopeless at shaving and remember that I made quite a mess of myself at the time but can't remember exactly when it was. What wasn't known until much later was that 'something' had gotten into the wound. Nasty? Well, not really, but I ended up with rather an ugly collection of painless growths on my chin. After some concerns about what it was (mainly from Ant) I brought it up with my doctor. She diagnosed it was warts and proceeded with trying to freeze them. Its not related to the HIV, something quite common and that anyone could get. It hadn't helped that with shaving I'd managed to move the infection around a bit.
After two sessions with the cryo-gun someone looked and wondered whether it really was warts claiming that they should have responded by now. Then it was re-confirmed that they were warts and we tried attacking them more aggressively. Eventually we got a reaction! They started to scab over (really really not nice to look at) and were so sore it was unbelievable. Unfortunately, because of the scabbing I couldn't shave - so I felt really ugly and low - and managed to get a bacterial infection in one of the hair follicles. This is uncomfortable, visually unappealing (and thats an understatement) and being a bugger to shift. So I'm coating my face and neck with Savlon umpteen times a day. Also, it's triggered off my oral thrush! Guess who's back on the Fluconozole...
So what started out as a small localised patch of warts has mutated half-way across my face and down my neck. The Savlon appears to be doing the trick. As a yardstick I've somehow managed to move the bacterial infection on to the back of one of my hands (probably through sleeping). This is also being attacked with the Savlon and because of its location its easier to monitor how well it's doing. That one's looking pretty good.
Roll on my next set of bloodwork results. The figures are going to be interesting...
Though I do have at least one medical problems that is seriously pissing me off at the moment. I managed to cut myself shaving sometime last year. I'm hopeless at shaving and remember that I made quite a mess of myself at the time but can't remember exactly when it was. What wasn't known until much later was that 'something' had gotten into the wound. Nasty? Well, not really, but I ended up with rather an ugly collection of painless growths on my chin. After some concerns about what it was (mainly from Ant) I brought it up with my doctor. She diagnosed it was warts and proceeded with trying to freeze them. Its not related to the HIV, something quite common and that anyone could get. It hadn't helped that with shaving I'd managed to move the infection around a bit.
After two sessions with the cryo-gun someone looked and wondered whether it really was warts claiming that they should have responded by now. Then it was re-confirmed that they were warts and we tried attacking them more aggressively. Eventually we got a reaction! They started to scab over (really really not nice to look at) and were so sore it was unbelievable. Unfortunately, because of the scabbing I couldn't shave - so I felt really ugly and low - and managed to get a bacterial infection in one of the hair follicles. This is uncomfortable, visually unappealing (and thats an understatement) and being a bugger to shift. So I'm coating my face and neck with Savlon umpteen times a day. Also, it's triggered off my oral thrush! Guess who's back on the Fluconozole...
So what started out as a small localised patch of warts has mutated half-way across my face and down my neck. The Savlon appears to be doing the trick. As a yardstick I've somehow managed to move the bacterial infection on to the back of one of my hands (probably through sleeping). This is also being attacked with the Savlon and because of its location its easier to monitor how well it's doing. That one's looking pretty good.
Roll on my next set of bloodwork results. The figures are going to be interesting...