Homeboi's Diary

Just had Kyle check in. He went down to London again for the bank holiday weekend. Managed to get himself sunburned yesterday afternoon. Glad it was a better day down there than up here, weatherwise.

I told him about the camera. 'Oooo', he chirrups, 'New Gaydar pics. You'll have to do me some pictures. Make me look sexy!'
I told him that he'd have to take some of me.
'Yeah, I'll do that, but no cock shots!'
'But hon, you've seen it all before.'
'Oh, yea. Oh fuck it!!'

And will there be any 'funny business' relating to the camera? We'll all just have to wait and see...

I've treated myself this week. To be honest, it's not often I splash out. I mean, last time it was my new phone and the PA all in one week!

So what have I got. Well I was in town and happened to wander into CloneZone. As usual I just had a wander round, saw some interesting underwear that was a thong where the back bit goes underneath and ends in a fabric cockring, the whole lot sits in the pouch at the front. Bit hard to explain, and they don't have a picture on their website (grr!!). They only had them in white, and they were made out of a net-type material, now I'd have snapped them up if they were in black.

I took a look at the DVD's while I was there and they had a special offer on the Triga DVD's: if you bought Scally Boy Orgy, you got Tatooed Marines and Real Recruits all for just under £30. Bargain! Watched Scally Boy Orgy, and it's not bad, funny how the low-rent production makes it come across as quite believable. The others I'll watch at my leisure.

And the other treat is a new camera. A digital camera. £83 from Morgan Computers. I've been saying that I wanted a digital camera for ages. So this morning while the thought was fresh I took the plunge. It's a Fuji A210 Zoom. Picture quality seems to be pretty good, but I suppose it should be for 3.2 megapixels not that I know nothing about digital imaging. Put it this way, it can't be worse than trying to get decent pictures out of a webcam!

I've got to admit that I've only been paying moderate interest in the whole Michael Jackson affair. Some of the little snippets I've heard are amusing and very damning. But I stumbled across this, and just had to share it.

But back to Jacko for a moment. The recent allegations of him going down in this latest kid reminded me of a joke I heard back around the 1996 trial:

Have you heard? Michael Jackson has had to cancel part of his tour. Why? 'Cos he's still stuck in Jordan!

Even despite the recent press my opinion of Jackson hasn't changed: Once a musical genius, now a complete fruit-loop! In some ways I feel very sorry for him. Gaining stardom so young obviously has an affect on people. Childhood is a time when we experiment with a lot of things, sex being one of them. Remember that he didn't have his childhood, or what we could call a childhood, at the usual time. Could it be that he's making up for it now?

Well, it was late when I went to bed last night. Was a bit restless all night. Couldn't be arsed with the computer, nothing of interest on TV. Started watching a film (I know I'd seen it before) and fell asleep about 2.30am. The cat woke me up about 4.30am and shouted at me. Obviously she'd been upstairs waiting for me to come to bed. Fuck, it's just like being 'married' again!

It was midday when I woke up today. Got my days confused and thought it was Monday and thought I was late for work. Then realised it was actually Sunday. Yep, the cat is good at getting me to go to bed but she's a hopeless alarm clock (she sleeps more than I do, and she snores louder than me!)

Phone went about 12.30. It was Mart's other half rambling on about their weekend. Seems I only end up speaking to him when I'm either half-asleep, just woken up, or in a rush. He got a bit of a low down about mine and Kyle's night out and asked me what I was doing today. Now, on Saturday night I had kinda thought to myself about going to Mcdonalds, told him that, but at that moment in time I didn't really feel much like getting dressed. Suddenly the phone went dead. I didn't try to ring back.

Then caught Kyle on MSN. We touched base about Friday and I told him a little about the conversation I'd just had. He also asked what I was doing today so I told him I was toying with the idea of going for 'Sunday Lunch'. Also asked him if he was up for coming with me. He said he'd got no money so I told him that I didn't ask that. Long story short, I agreed that I'd pay him in, and we set up a time to meet.

So we meet mid afternoon and share a joint on the way round. He's a bit stunned by this, as it's not often that I'll turn up with a pre-rolled joint, but grateful all the same. The strange thing is that he's never been there sober and didn't actually know where we were going. Funny really, I suppose. That drunken homing beacon that just screams SEX to gay men within a 2 mile radius.

We enter, pay the money and go to get changed. Kyle made a comment about me not wearing boxers under my trackies so I told him that it's very rare I wear underwear. He looked strangely surprised, but it's no secret. On the way over we were talking about the jacuzzi and I said that I'd never been in one there 'cos I never fancied getting in by myself. So we agreed that we'd go in together. However, the jacuzzi's were out of action, so that ruled that out. I led him round and to the darkroom area - I was doing my usual once-round to decide where to start - and when I turned round he'd gone. We'd got separated so I don't know what happened to him after that.

Myself, well, let's just say I had a very very good afternoon. I suppose I must have been enjoying myself, I was there for four hours!! I didn't get chance to miss Kyle for long. I walked into the darkroom and got set up on by someone. He wasn't my type but he lost interest when I started playing with someone else. This lad, well, man, older than me (late 30's I'd say) about my height and with a nice smooth body, just like mine. We went to find a room and played in the pitch black. He was good, and we had a great time. You should know me by now, how I like a thinish cock as starter, well his was just the right size. But we started with him eating me out. Gotta be honest and say that at one point I thought the little man was gonna climb into me.

'So what do you like?' he said.
'I like to get fucked.'
'Now why didn't I guess that!' he giggled
I laughed, 'but you can carry on down there for a bit, if you like.'
and he was back at me before I could even finish the sentence.

Then he mounted me doggy-style and was playing with my nipples while he kissed my neck and nibbled my shoulders. I like that. Got a pounding from him that set me up for the rest of the afternoon. We tried with me sat on him, but just couldn't get the angles right and he kept slipping out of me. So he threw me (literally) over on to my back and mounted me that way. Much better, and I was able to wrap my legs around his waist and hold on to him by his nips. I needed to. He started banging that hard I thought I was about to bulldoze my way through a wall. We finished up (he came all over over my chest), mopped up and chatted for while. He's an ex-Manc native who comes down for a visit every now and then. His boyfriend was about somewhere!! Not that I mind, but now he tells me. We kiss, and part, and I go on the hunt for more cock.

My forgetfulness is kicking in now, so I'm gonna have to summarise. Ended up joining up with someone in one of the blow-job booths getting fucked while someone else was noshing me through the hole. So I know my knees are gonna be bruised tomorrow - that's what happened last time I tried that one.

From that one I went to sit in the cafe area and have a smoke. While there, someone took a shine to me. Kept his distance but couldn't keep his eyes off me for long. I stood up to move, me moved first. Ended up following him into the darkroom, where he sided up to me, we had a fondle, and then went to find a room. That makes me sound so easy!

Now this one is interesting. Started off with him sat leaning against the wall with me between his legs blowing him off. Then he wanted in on the action so we changed position so he was lying on his back and I was completely over him: he was chewing on me and I was chewing on him. Bearing in mind we'd only just met, he was inviting me to spend the night with him back at his place. I don't mind forward, but that was a little too much too soon. Nevertheless, we continued with the sex.

We got to talking about fucking. So I told him that I don't fuck. As always, the question about whether I ever have fucked comes up. I tell him I have, but the last time was ages ago, and that I just don't fuck. Then he says to me that he wants 'that', refering to my piercing, up him. So I think about it. 'There's no pressure.' he says, but I get the feeling that I'm gonna have to do this or its gonna get real boring real quick with him. So I get behind him and rubber up - and don't go too soft - and start to open him up with my fingers. God was he tight, but he loosened up pretty quickly. And then I penetrate him. Slowly, and let him push to get me all in. Then I start to fuck him slowly holding tightly onto his waist. I thought to myself that if I'm going to do this I need to be in control of it and I needed him to know that I was in control. He relaxed a little more and so I quickened the pace and got into a nice rhythm on pulling him onto me on the in stroke.

He was loving it. 'And you say you can't fuck?' he says. I didn't correct him. He gave me a load of compliments. I was enjoying it too. Then he lay flat on the bed and I put my arms under him, holding him tight while I hammered away at his arsehole. He liked it hard and deep. Then he put my fingers in his mouth. I'd already kinda suspected that he'd been on pills the night before but this confirmed it to me. We tried to re-position doggy style but I came out of him. Not to worry, but he put me back in but twisted the ring slightly as I entered. It didn't hurt, but didn't quite feel comfortable and took a few moments to re-position itself. 'Fuck me like you've never fucked anyone before' he told me. So I gave it to him as hard and as deeply as I could. Now it's always made me laugh when I've been in a room with someone and I can hear the sounds of flesh slapping together and deep grunts and groans of pleasure. But here we were, his wet buttocks making a loud slap everytime they contacted my legs, him moaning very loudly in amongst instructions to bang him harder, as well as the creaking and squeaking of the matress beneath us.

I had to pull out after a while. Two reasons: 1 I wasn't ready for cumming yet, and 2, because of the bad insertion my ring was beginning to hurt a little. We reversed roles. I rubbered him up, lay myself flat, and he lay on my back and fucked me like that. We got very hot and sweaty (hmm. pills!) and I ended up laying in a puddle of our combined sweat. I knew he wasn't going to cum, even though he'd been pretty close a few times, so we decided to take a breather AKA I'm moving on mate!

Does this mean I'm turning top? Nope. I proved to myself that I can fuck, but I knew that I wanted good hard cock in me because I know that's what gets me off. I have thought about it, and know that I can't just fuck anyone. It helped that he had a very sexy body, but I'm still going to bottom for most of the time.

Back to the blow job booths and ended up getting a huge load from this enormous black cock. Ended up going down my chest, all over my face, in my eyes, and stuck in my throat. I started coughing and he couldn't get out of his booth quick enough. It was dark, how did I know it was black cock? Simple. You can tell by the taste of the meat!!

When I returned to the darkroom there was a fit lad getting the shit fucked out of him by this burly bloke. It turned me on to watch it so I just stayed near. When the burly bloke had finished, fuckee comes over my way. We kiss, fondle, then he goes down on me. I would have gone down on him but his cock was covered in lube and I didn't fancy a mouthful of that at that time. I turned round to indicate that I wanted him to play with my arse (I actually wanted his cock inside me. shh). I'm sure I'm the proud owner of stubble burn on my ring, but I don't care. He licked his way up my spine and started chewing my ear. I reached behind me, grabbed his cock and pointed it at my hole and started rubbing it against me. I didn't get him. He thought I wanted him to bareback me. Next thing I know he's riding someone else's cock and they're going hell for leather.

I didn't have to wait too long for my next ride though. Nice young muscley lad. Didn't sound like he was local. Smooth hairless body, nice thick cock and massive balls. I couldn't get over how large and heavy his bollocks were. We made our way to a room where he went through me like an express train. Nice. I didn't last too long and made a terrible mess of the matress. With the hard fucking I spilt my muck everywhere. I tried letting him fuck me for a while longer but unfortunately 'cactus time' set in and I had to get him out of me. Pity cos I was enjoying him.

So that was my Sunday. I've had a ball. That's an understatement, and I'm not about to count up all the balls I've been in contact with today.

Useless bit of trivia here. St George's Day was the day I was christened.

There was a card and a note pushed through my door when I got in today. Because I was a dirty stop out last night (stayed over at Neil's with Kyle) when I did finally arrive home today I just picked them up and put them to one side. The card was from the postman saying that he'd delivered my mail next door 'cos I wasn't in and the note was from my neighbour saying that she'd got my post.

Then I remembered I was supposed to be going out with Mum and Dad to look at fridge freezers. Mines on its last legs. Suppose thats what you get for buying cheap and in an 'emergency'. I'd just sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee when the phone rang. Mum was on her way.

Eventually I come back and decide to call at my neighbours before going into the house. Two envelopes and a jiffy bag. The two envelopes contained my new bank cards. The jiffy bag was my replacement phone. Yay!! Strange how at one point in my life I hated the idea of mobile phones, but I've felt so lost without it over the past few days.

I needed to go out on Friday night. Needed some serious cheering up. Mart got himself stuck up with his family (kinda pissed me off, but he doesn't see them all that often). So I rang Kyle.

Ended up going to Club Barracks at Legends with Kyle, Neil and some of Neil's mates. Had a good night, from what I can remember. Met some nice people, and would like to get to know a couple of them better. Got very very drunk. Ended up chatting with one of Neil's friends, can't for the life of me remember his name, about PA's. He's got a 7mm in, but I never got chance to see it, this time. Nice body too! Gave me a curious tip for stretching a PA from 2.4mm to 3.2mm by using a small padlock of 2.5mm. Obviously not practical for some things but I have seen pictures of people with very large padlocks attached to the end of their cocks. What ever floats your boat, I suppose.

Great also to see Neil. Not seen him in ages. Got to see the 'party animal' in him in full effect. What an experience. He's not a person I'd go for, but I love his personality and sense of humour.

Overal summary: not my usual kind of going out place, Mart might not like it too much (not him, musically), but it wont be the last time Kyle and I go there.

Ever since Wednesday night, and people getting to hear about it, they all have one thing to say: What's happening with your car?

Ok, pretty sure I've not covered this here. But I stopped driving due to depression, the will to cause serious damage to myself was too strong. It scared me to even look at the thing sometimes. As it was, around this time the MOT ran out on it and also the Road Tax expired. So even with though the car was insured it wasn't legal to drive without those two important pieces of documentation. Even though it hasn't moved for ages, the car has been started up a couple of times.

Aside from the depression aspects there were also some financial considerations. I know the car needs a new exhaust plus a number of other jobs doing on it in order to pass the MOT. Money that just couldn't be found on approach to Christmas.

For the past fortnight or so I've been thinking to myself that I need to get the car sorted out. The fact that I'm thinking about it is telling me that I'm not scared of driving, and that I really want to get behind the wheel again. It's not just a convenience thing, at least having a working and legal car means that I'm not tied to the house. Especially with the nicer weather coming on I'm going to want to get out more and do things. Not impossible, but not easy without a car.

Mum decided I was going to have tea at hers tonight. She was going to pick me up on her way home from work to do a little shopping with her. After doing the shopping and loading it into the boot I went to take the trolley back, and then was slightly stunned when Mum asked whether I wanted to drive. Took me a few moments to respond. Had to really think about whether I could do it. Whether I could or couldn't do it I wanted to try and so said 'yes'.

I really enjoyed it. It's only a 10 minute drive from the supermarket to her house. And no bad thoughts. Got there safely, without damaging the car (or anyone elses) and without pissing off other road users. Bearing in mind it was 6 o'clock and the roads were busy I thought I did really well.

I'll admit I'm not very good with credit cards. I've had three so far in my life. And I've run into problems with all of them. Despite all the best promises to myself about my finances (see my New Year's resolutions) I'm very good at spending on them but I forget (honestly I do) to pay them back. Fairs fair, they end up getting a bit stoppy with me and then I lose intrest in them.

My credit card is over its limit. I knew that. Partly cos I've not paid them a penny since February so there's interest and late payment fees to add on. I would have made a payment to them yesterday had the unfortunate not happened.

I've just got off the phone from them, they were asking for money. I explained to the guy (after he'd cleared up his confusion about my details showing two account numbers) that I would love to make a payment but without having my wallet it was impossible. I'm sure he thought I was lying until I was able to give him the Crime Reference Number. I asked for a couple of days grace until my new cards arrive from my bank. Na da!! Oh yes, they'll accept the payment, but because it's late they'll still charge me for that. Money-grabbing-blood-sucking-cunts.

The end of the call was hillarious though. He began to remind me that I should refrain from using my card until the account is in better order. I've heard the pitch before, but he stopped after the opening line. I was dying to laugh and scream back at him words to the effect of how can I use a card I don't have!?! He ended the call before I could compose myself to do that.

Just spent ages trying to get through to my credit card company to let them know that my card has been stolen. I can't lay my hands on any of their paperwork which complicates the matter. So after ringing all around the houses, being given an out of service number, being cut off by one of the operators, I finally get through to the right department.

Only I find when I get there that the Police have already had the card cancelled for me. I'm impressed.

I can't believe it. Yesterday was a bad day, made all the better by my later 'adaptation'. Today has been very good, until I was coming home from work.

I got mugged. Phone, bus pass, cash and wallet gone. There were three of them, so I wasn't exactly gonna fight back. Suppose I'm lucky, not hurt, just shocked and upset. Certainly don't make me feel much like going out of the house tomorrow.

So pissed off cos I've spent 4 hours trying to get everything sorted. There's still one card I can't cancel, and after being on hold for ages I really don't believe that my call is that important to them! They can wait until tomorrow and get a mouthful from me.

Quite lucky then that I transferred the pictures from my phone last night. The phone is cancelled and barred, thank you Orange for doing that in minutes (within 20 minutes of the actual incident). If they can get into the phone, they might be a little shocked by some of the pictures. I mean it's not everyone who has pictures of their cock with a black spike sticking out of the end of it! But it's all the phone numbers and text messages that I'm going to miss. Wouldn't mind but I've had the software to back up the contents of the phone installed on my works laptop, just never got round to getting it to work.

It's going to be four (working) days without plastic and three without a phone. And because I don't wear a watch my time keeping now is going to be worse than ever.

I've done it. I've finally got the 3.2mm through. And here are the very first pictures of it.

Honestly didn't think it was going to happen tonight. Tried with the enlarging crescent and was a little pissed off that I couldn't get any more through than last time. So, just because I wanted to see what the new ring looked like (again) after taking the crescent out I slipped it in. I thought to myself that there was no point in trying to fit it properly. But I thought I'd try anyway. And, it went through with no resistance. I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. And so glad I took my phone in with me!

New ring in place and rotated round. Still awaiting the ball to be fitted.


View from the front.


Ball closure in place looking like a true little soldier!


Foreskin brought slightly forward.


It's been in nearly an hour now. Feels good and it doesn't hurt. I can tell that its heavier down there though only slightly. Now I'm going to have to learn how to pee, again.

Just like December, I wanna show it off again!

It hit me today as to what I confessed to on Saturday.

Don't ask me what we were watching, but something was on TV with a pair of kitchen tongs. They looked like a pair I have at home. I happened to admit that one night I came home, must have been pilled up (it's the only way I can imagine myself doing it) and still super-horny, and used a pair of kitchen tongs and a sponge on myself.

Mart will never be able to turn sausages over with a straight face again.

They were put through the dish washer a number of times before their next conventional usage I should add.

Q: What does a supermarket trolley have that an Essex girl doesn't?

A: A mind of its own.

btw. they're fucking expensive

OMG. Omifuckinggod.

I've just witnessed something terrible. It was broadcast on Channel 5 so it's bound to be terrible. But this takes the biscuit. I've sat through two breast operations. Seen womans hairy bedtime thing on full view while they did a 'pubic tuck'. I've even seen them shred a Brazillian mans winky, taking out nerves and chopping off the foreskin because he suffered with premature ejaculation. They even brought on a (completely) naked pre-op transexual, who I've got to admit was beautiful, absolutely stunning, apart from the camera keep focussing on her dick!

No, it was the close of the show and co-presenter Daniella Westbrook's comments 'Whey-hey! Chicks with dicks", and main presenter Vanessa Feltz trying to do a 'we're not very impressed' expression while trying to round the show off. I mean, come on Vanessa, you've just spent the past hour commenting about men and womans bits and pieces. Personally I thought it was a good call. Daniella just spoke her mind, probably without thinking, and couldn't have timed the line right.

Tomorrow night, 'Cock Idol' is a feature, according to the teaser. Yes, 'Cock Idol' the TV competition where you could win a penis enlargement. I'll watch it for that, provided they don't do anything nasty to the poor pricks. Yea, yea, yea, and I've got a piece of metal stuck through mine but it is all mine. Compared with what they did to that Brazilian - who now feels like SuperMan, by the way - having your cock pierced even looks a painless procedure.

I've just had a bad memory from Saturday night. I confessed to something very embarassing. I know this because I can remember rolling on the floor, laughing in shock, saying 'I can't believe I've just told you that'.

Now my big problem is that I can't remember what I've admitted to.

Clues are:-

• It involves cock, my cock
• It's highly embarassing
• I wasn't sober when I did it

O, I gotta say I like this one. Ok, I'm a little stoned, and got serious giggles, but came across Googlism, an interesting look at Google's data, via Drunk Again.

I tried it on my name. It told me what my job was! Staggering!!
Tried it on Manchester the results are funny: 'manchester is the most challenging', 'manchester is not a commodity by jeffrey derego hippopress', 'manchester is not dangerous unless you go looking for trouble', 'manchester is a small suburban community just east of hartford' (and I think my geography is bad!) and 'manchester is a very big town' (erm, understatement?)

Now I'm not politically minded, but with all the Election talk and posters for political parties I just had to 'Tony Blair'. The expected highlights: 'tony blair is a wanker', and 'tony blair is a puff' are mixed with other gems such as: 'tony blair is safe from spam', 'tony blair is not a poodle', 'tony blair is freeware', 'tony blair is being dramatically outsold by the osama bin laden figure', the frightening 'tony blair is our last hope'. And who could forget: 'tony blair is planning to ban christmas'? I stopped reading 'George Bush' after its opening 'george bush is a monkey'

Mart also phoned me on the way home (another reason why I'm going over). He's got conjunctivitis so had been told to take the weekend off work.

Someone found out and sent him a joke by text message:

"An eye-drop formulation of Viagra has recently been licensed. It doesn't last longer or work quicker, but it will make you look harder."

Been clothes shopping today. Intended to do it this morning, but, well you know how it is...

So it was afternoon when I hit town. Should've listened to the voice in my head saying it was a bad idea.

I hate fat-arsed, white, biatches. How come you find them in pairs? (pram(s) is/are optional). They have two speeds: stop and not-much-faster-than-stop. And they have no problem with suddenly stopping, bending over to look at a pair of (really hideous) shoes, stopping the flow of people in both directions in a narrow space outside a market stall. Then you get the ones who buy (and wear, sadly for the rest of us) jeans two sizes smaller than their actual waist so you get a roll of flesh balanced on the waist band (it falls when they bend over, or twist). The jeans go with the obligatory t-shirt that advertises (commonly) huge tits but in the process leaves a gap (a minimum) 2 inches between the t-shirt and jeans.

Generally speaking, I am not an impatient person. But this afternoon I've had far too many episodes of being stuck behind people like that.

Right, I'm off to see Mart and get him to calm me down before the next pram gets used to shave off some of the excess flesh, or try and do a 'Trinny and Suzannah' and advise that she might have better luck sizing a bedspread than jeans.

Oh, and Kyle is in London this weekend. So if you're out down there and happen to bump into a drunken Fraggle, or he tries chatting up the pillar or lamppost next to you or your mate, don't say anything cos he could well start chatting you up.

Ah, so good to be home. Going away with work is ok, but there's nothing quite like coming back to your own bed. Even though I did visit someone else's bed sometime before finding mine, but that's a story for another time.

At the place where I've been they've got a new chef. He served up for lunch on the first day, and then came out to see us after dinner that night. Phew!! 'Chef's whites' don't do it for me, for it had to be the cutie inside them that night. About 28/9, taller than me, scouse accent, roundish face with watery, but still piercing dark eyes. Certain accents and eyes do it for me everytime (youcan fall for just someones voice!)

I'm definately go back to see him. And to sample the delights he could offer me in the kitchen. And maybe the bedroom.

Tee hee he!

Ok. Bath time with a tub of vaseline, pair of pliers, and my mobile phone can only mean one thing. Yes I've finally gone over the edge! No, seriously, that I'm doing some more stretching of my PA, though to be honest, you gotta wonder whether there isn't some truth in my first answer.

Ahem. This time I took my phone with me, and managed to keep it dry and get some pictures. Again, apologies for the quality - serious case of RTFM^* impending.

So, to the pics:

A re-creation of the 'Jaws' scene I found so hillarious last time I did the stretching thing. Only this time 'the beast'⁺ was out of the water (and I didn't do the sound effects). Definately near the end of the stretching range with this crescent as I was able to rotate it in the wrong direction for this picture. The butt end would have scraped the inside of my urethra had there been too much left inside the piss tube. Don't think about that too much, I know it makes my eyes water!


This is the way the crescent is supposed to point. The flesh is still tight around the crescent but the crescent can be turned quite easily (and without pain).


A view from the underside with still 5 or 6mm of the crescent left to go through. I checked the other day, the final few milimetres of the crescent are all the same diameter. So even though there's 5-6mm left to feed through, I've only got to stretch against another 2-3mm of crescent. Yay!


A closer look at the butt end of the crescent. The phone camera can't focus properly at this proximity unfortunately.


Compare these pics with the first stretch I did and you can see that progress has been made.

I was also able to put the crescent down the pee hole and out of the piercing hole and was amazed at how much I could get through. Shame I forgot to take a picture. Ok. One to remember for next time...


^* RTFM abbreviation for Read The Fucking Manual
⁺ Carl referred to it as 'The Beast' when he last saw it before telling me what I needed to get

I can't believe I did this one myself. You'll like this one...

Making a cup of coffee last night.

• Sugar out of the canister into the cup.
• Got the milk from the fridge and put bottle on the side.
• Coffee from the jar into the cup.
• Milk from the bottle straight into the jar of coffee.

And then it took me a few moments to realise what I'd done...

I'm getting tired at the moment of the week ending almost as soon as its begun. Don't know whether it's me, or whether Time is trying to go Decimal (20 hours in the day as opposed to 24) but there really does seems to be a big shift in the amount of available time I have for doing things. Either that or I'm just getting more and more forgetful.

This week, though, is a bit of an exception. Today is (was) my last working day of this week. I'm out of Manchester until Friday afternoon doing training again. Joy. No, I love it, really. Well, sometimes. But it made me realise that I still havent written anything about the weekend. So here we go...

We were going out on Friday night. I arrived at Mart's about 6.30 to find him sat in the kitchen with a streaking cap on. He was having blond streaks put in his hair again. He really suits blond hair and I got thinking about last summer when all the top was blond and how horny he looked. Then I stopped myself 'cos his boyfriend was there (amongst other people). The streaks are quite discrete but they look ok. Kyle arrived in the midst of all this. Tried to convince me that he hadn't had a drink that day, but not sure whether I believed him.

Everyone still had to get ready. We had a tight timetable as a result of the drugs drop: 1.5 hours for 4 gay men, 1 straight woman, and Chris (not classifiable just yet, bless) to get ready. Amazingly, we did it in plenty of time. But wouldn't you know it, 'cos we were early the delivery arrived late. Sod's Law?

Oh, the other constraint on the timetable was that Kyle was due to meet a man at 8.30. We all looked at him, slightly annoyed as this was to be a night for all of us to go out together.

Game plan was to have a few drinks, pop the pills and then go to a club. Kyle wanted us to go to Legends but as Mart said to him 'We might go to Cruz later if you don't come back.' in one of the rare moments that he left his shag to talk to his friends. 'Well, he's a bit of a knob, actually' Kyle responded rather crestfallen. He'd come over to tell us they were going elsewhere. And that was the last we saw of Kyle all evening. Mart's response after he'd gone: 'We wont see him later. Never mind. More pills for us, Mother!' I just giggled.

Yes, I did the flirty thing with Chris. As a person I like him, but physically it wouldn't work between us. I see the glimmers of interest in his eyes when I flirt with him, but then he'll come out with some random comment. Sometimes he'll flirt back with the things he says. It's not because he doesn't realise what he's saying, or maybe he just doesn't realise how what he says can be construed. I'm known for being the one in the group that can take a simple, harmless sentence and extract every millilitre of innuendo out of it. Worst of it is that I think it, and then I can see that Mart has had the same thought.

All in all we had a good night. Apart from a few moments in Cruz when I had to calm Marts bf down when Mart was flirting and being touched up on the dancefloor. Mart has been known to genuinely forget he's out with his boyfriends. Only two casualties of the night: Kyle - MWAS (missing with a shag), and our straight girl who came up too fast and decided escape was a better plan - AWOL (All Wobbly On Legs). Think we will be continuing her 'Fag-Hag' training though, she fits in with us and can drink in time with us.

We got a taxi back to Mart's. Don't remember much at this point. Chris crashed on Marts bed. We had to shift him to get a matress so Chris and I could sleep in the living room. Dont ask us how we managed this but Marts boyf and I were able to cart a double matress from the bedroom to the living room quicker than Chris could get there. And we had to strip the bed to get to the matress.

Mart and boy went to bed leaving Chris and me in the living room. Chris was already comatose, full clothed under the quilt. I stripped down a bit and got in as well. I was horny but knackered and knew that Chris wasn't going to play, so I didn't bother. In the middle of the night I thought about taking a look-see at the goods, but couldn't be arsed! I also contemplated opening the fly of his jeans. Hmm. Maybe another time. This was the first time we'd shared a bed, so I don't want to scare him off. The look of confusion on his face when he realised in the morning that I wasn't wearing any underwear was enough. I played it straight, though, and said that I'd taken them off during the night 'cos they were bugging me.

So all told it's been a sex-less week so far. And I won't be getting any while I'm away, that I know for sure. Though I might have something lined up for Friday when I get back.

Oo. Speaking of such things. I got a new member to add to my fan club. He's an online person at the moment. He's seen me around for a while but now wants to know what it is about me that 'interests' him. And you know what, I don't think it's just a physical thing that interests him. He's seems a cool guy, and we seem to think the same way. News when it happens...

Am I the only one fighting with Blogger at the moment?

Went down about 11.30pm last night. Seems to keep coming back up (in bits) and then going down again. No comments about my antics in the saunas purlease!!!

What's goin on guys...?

Just had to put this one down.

Had to get a few bits of shopping on the way home from work. Namely things I forgot to get when I went shopping last night: shaving foam, cat food (yes, I'm in bad bad books!) and bog roll. So I called into Tesco's Metro in town.

I was stood at the stand with all the shaving products looking for what I wanted. There was a very very cute scally, only early 20's, stood to the side of me. I thought he was just looking too. Until he, very sheepishly, reached up and grabbed a box of condoms off the top shelf and scuttled away giving me a very embarassed glance in the process. I didn't even know he was looking at condoms!

Strange thing is that they put the boxes of condoms inside a bigger perspex box that's opened at the till. So you can't exactly be discrete about buying them from there. Had to laugh at the situation. However I do praise the fact that he thinks enough of the person he's intending to shag to use condoms. Either that, or he thinks in with a promise over the weekend!

But it gets better. There are different ways of getting to the tills there. You can either queue for a specific till, or enter a zig-zag queue to get to one of up to sixteen available tills. I chose the zig-zag route as it's generally quicker. As I was going through the queue I spotted him at one of the dedicated till queues furtively looking around. Christ, you'd think he was a 13 year old trying to run off with a porn mag under his jumper!! I spotted him, and he spotted me, and I think I happened to wink at him. No, there wasn't anything in my eye and my contact lense hadn't slipped. I had no reason to wink other than I thought he was cute. I turned away after doing that, didn't want to embarass him any more than I'd already done. Bless.

What a week. And it aint over yet!!

Started on Monday with a meeting.
'We need a system for IT Resource Bidding for next year.'
Ok
'Here's the form we want to use.'
Ok, that helps, erm, sort of.
'Oh, by the way, we need it on stream by the end of the week...'

Yeah, right! I know I'm good. The impossible I can usually turn round in a day or so. Miracles tend to take a couple of months. Especially the way 'the powers that be' operate at our place.

In other news, spoke to Kyle on the phone night before last. He's in a really bad way at the moment. Told me some things about his past that I'd known part of but never the full story. Fuck has that kid got some skeletons in his closet. Said he's been pissed up since Saturday. I know that he gets that way from time to time, demons in his head and all that. Had a really bad childhood and to be honest its a wonder that he still lives and breaths to tell the tale. Kept apologising if he kept me away the other Friday at Marts.

Serious depression breeding there. We need to get some counselling for him. He's tried the drugs approach and, again, it didn't work. Problem here is I want to help him, but he doesn't want to burden me cos I've 'got enough problems of my own.' We'll work through this one over time.

My own depression is still with me but I'm learning to cope with it. Work stress doesn't help me, well stress of any kind doesn't help me! But at least I'm starting to see signs of when I know I'm going bad. Explained to Kyle that one thing I'm still left with is a shocking memory. Sometimes trying to remember what I did an hour ago is completely beyond me. But there's good days and bad days.

In a previous post I was talking about an online friend that's grown to be a bit special to me. Well with everything that's happened over the past few weeks I really thought I'd bollocksed that one up. But no. Quite the oposite I'm pleased to say. Seems he's been really worried about me. Frantic type worried. It's quite touching really. He sent me some new pictures of himself with instructions that I'm not to share them. He's so fuckin horny that they just make me want him more. I've really missed talking to him, his sense of humour, and the way he lectures me just like Mart does. Together we've answered the question of where he's gonna sleep when he comes to visit. The one we can't answer yet is when I'm gonna sleep. Probably one of many things we'll, ahem, work on when the time arises.

Thank god it's Friday tomorrow. I'm being entertained by Mart and Chris. Or are they entertaining me? Can't work that one out just yet. Either way, am I gonna be well behaved? Like fuck I am!

There was a slight change of plan to my summoning on Friday. I was to meet Kyle and Mart in town to go for a drink before heading over to Marts. As I was getting ready I got a message on my phone to pass on to Mart, from Kath, saying that his boyfriend had arrived home pissed out of his skull. The boyfriend has a drink problem. Mart believes he can handle this but when he ends up in this state it only serves to rub Mart up the wrong way.

When we got back to Marts there was tension in the air, despite the fact that the boyfriend was nearly sober by now. Kath, Kyle and myself sat in the kitchen talking while Mart and fella argued in the living room. Little snippets of their conversation being heard over the music. We were trying not to listen.

So on the Friday night they got me stoned and they got me drunk. It was quite a nice night, actually, even though Mart was tending to get nastier and nastier with his boyfriend. I pulled him up about this when we went to get tea.

'...but you know why I'm doing it.' he said to me.
'Yea, I know. But you are being a bit extreme with it.'
'He deserves it. He's alright when he's sober, and he's not that bad when he's pissed. Just it annoys me so much when he's pissed all the time.'
'I know, hon. We all know!'
'I'll be nice with him now, for a while.'

We got back, ate tea and watched a film. Very little conversation took place courtesy of the weed and the alcohol. We were all pretty hammered and the boyfriend was stone cold sober! He'd been wearing his coat all night, claiming he was cold (I was roasting!). But the real reason was that he was half thinking of escaping and going out. That might not have been a good idea. Fortunately we didn't have to go through that one.

The following morning they let me sleep in. Kyle had had a very disturbed night, lots of things on his mind and waking up with nightmares. When I came to I went into Mart's bedroom and sat on the floor. Kyle went to make me a brew, bless him, and apologised if he kept me awake. I knew he'd been up and down all night, but he hadn't really disturbed me. I can sleep like a log at times.

Kyle rolled a spliff and I tried to get out of him why he thought he was having nightmares. I know from history that he goes through spells like this but it's been quite a while since the last one. It's quite distressing to see, especially when you don't know the best way to help. We shared the joint.

Quite how we got on to me I can't remember. But it was something about going off on travels, and me claiming I was back for good. That's it. Kyle commented about how happy he was to get back home. I agreed and said I was back for good. And then just came out with it: 'a slaves life is not for me!'

Mart gave me a stare of astonishment, Kyle just sat shaking his head, and proceeded to make another spliff. So I explained to them that it wasn't just a sex-slave thing as they thought, it was the whole Master-Slave relationship business where I had no control over my life. Kyle chipped in that I should be more concerned with looking after myself. I agreed. Mart was still dumb-struck. He was working today and had to get ready for work. Kyle and I agree that being tied up for sex is good fun but can't explain why! We're all glad I'm out of it. I got off very lightly, though I get a feeling that more questions will be asked over the next few days. I'm not out of the woods yet. And there's still something I need to tell them...

Shortly after this my mobile went off. It was Ben, inviting me over to celebrate his birthday. I said I'd pop over later. As it was I had to pop home and do a few things before going over there.

Mart went off to work, after ringing them up and telling them he was running late. The plan for Saturday involved Kyle and myself taking the boyfriend out for a drink. We were baby sitting. It was already cleared that he could go, he was in company. It's when he's on his own that it's a problem. So I went for a couple of drinks with them and then made my excuses to go off and do the other things I needed to. I felt a bit shitty about leaving the pair of them but they're old enough to look after themselves, most of the time!

Pissed and stoned I arrive at home, empty my bag and then put half the stuff back in it. Feed the cat and then I'm back out again.

The game plan for tonight: I've been summoned to Mart's. Kyle's coming later on.

I know I'm gonna have to explain myself. And it's true, explanations are in order. I owe it to them cos they've been there when I needed them most. I go on a disappearing trip and all kinds of shit starts to happen.

In one of our heart-to-heart sessions ages ago we decided that the three of us come as a package. You may think you're only getting one, but the other two are included like it or not. God help the one who tries to break us apart. And that's what I was allowing to happen.

They're not gonna give me an easy ride tonight. I know it. I deserve it. It'll be alright in the long run. Can't wait to see the look on their faces when I tell them why I've been out of it recently.

What can I say about last night? Well it didn't go quite to plan. In fact, it didn't go to my plans at all!!

Got myself all nice and ready for going out, got out, decided to go for a quick drink. And there's where it began to fall apart.

Bumped into some friends I've not seen in ages. They got me drunk so my plan to get fucked silly at McDonalds went clean out the window.

Not to worry, though, I did get a good dicking. Lee. Lovely guy. Last slept with him about two years ago. There'd been other people and strange situations in the way of it happening between then and now. Back then, Lee was after a boyfriend, and maybe it could have happened but there was shit on my side and I wasn't interested in a relationship. I'd just got out of one and needed my freedom.

At one point last night I thought I wasn't gonna get anything until Lee asked whether I was going straight home. Took a few moments to realise that it was a veiled attempt at asking whether I was going back with him. Suppose I should've seen it coming. He was out with his brother who happened to remind me of the time he walked in on me and Lee having sex. I was on all fours over Lee with him noshing away, my bare arse pointing at the door. Lee's bro walks straight in, no knocking, to ask us if we want a brew. He didn't complete his question after getting a full-frontal of my gaping arsehole and scuttled away in embarrasment. I'd clean forgotten about the incident until he reminded me. Silly thing is that at that time I fancied Lee's brother like crazy. I still flirt with him even though he claims to be straight. I did nearly get him into bed once, but that's another story.

So I get a taxi back to Lee's and we leave his brother out. He knew what was gonna happen and maybe didn't want a repeat of the bare arse incident. We get undressed and get into bed and start chatting away. Then we start kissing. One thing leads to another and I'm telling him that I so want him to fuck me. I'm sat on top of him, impaled on his cock. He's thrusting from underneath me. It's then that I realise that we're not just fucking, we're making love. There is a difference.

We've both got too much alcohol in our systems so we carry on for a while before Lee apologises and says he has to go to the loo. When he comes back we just cuddle and go to sleep.

Then in the morning we pick up where we left off. Only we're both on our sides and I've got my knees under my chin, his arms tight around my chest as he pushes in and out of me. We're both moaning heavily and I notice that the bedroom door isn't closed. Nether of us know whether his brother came back last night but we're too lost in the moment to care.

I'm still thinking about Lee even though I've been back home for an hour or so. I like him a lot. He's a really sweet, genuine, caring guy. But he's so unlucky in love. Virtually every guy he's fallen for has dumped on him in one way or another. Some have really taken him for a ride. He knows I'm single and happy to be that way. I don't want to be someone who breaks his heart and leads him on.

So have I caught the love bug? Nah. I ducked. Just!